Any good jokes ... ?

[Salty seadog]

Two bee keepers . . . And one says, "How many bees have you got?"
And he says, "I've got 10,000 bees.”
He says, "How many hives have you got?"
He says, "I've got 20 hives".
“20 hives; 10,000 bees?"
He says, "Yeah.”

He says, “How may bees have you got?"
He says, “I've got a million bees.”
“A million bees?!"
He says, "Yeah."
He says, "How many hives have you got?"
"One."

"A million bees - one hive?”
He goes, "Yeah, f**k 'em; they're only bees.”

Courtesy of Alan Davies on QI.

 

[PeteXXX]

I stole that and sent it to three people. I cant print thier responses

Don't you like your friends

 

[PaulB]

Our wi-fi wasn't working last night so I had to sit and chat to the missis for ages. I was surprised to discover she no longer works at Woolworths.

 

[tyred]

 

[wheresthetorch]

A tourist forced his way into the Brunei high commission, waving his dead iPhone and demanding access to a charger. On finding there were none, he started lashing out at people.

The situation was finally resolved when he was charged with a Sultan battery.

 

[PaulB]

I used to do a bad impression of Eric Morecambe...but now I've seen the error of my waheys.

 

[morrisman]

Don't order hay for your horse off Amazon.
After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back.

 

[Goldy]

 

[Goldy]

I went to the pet shop to bought 5 bees, the shop keeper gave me 6 & when I queried it he said its OK that's a freebie...............

 

[Cavalol]

 

[tony111]

 

[Cavalol]

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barkeep says "You're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.

You see, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of "I think therefore, I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be to put Descartes before the horse.

 

[PK99]

 

[morrisman]

There are 11 types of people in the world
People who understand roman numerals and those that don't

 

[Electric_Andy]

There are 11 types of people in the world
People who understand roman numerals and those that don't

There are 10 types of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't