Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Our dog used to be owned by a blacksmith.
Everytime I open the gate, he makes a bolt for it.
Last edited:
Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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Everytime I open the gate, he makes a bolt for it.
Lullabelle
Banana
- Location
- Midlands UK
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Sir Ian Wilmut, the scientist who cloned Dolly the sheep successfully made a clone of himself and took it down the pub to show off.
The clone goes up to the bar and shouts, "Hoi! Big milky-titted barmaid, get me a pint!"
The clone gets his pint and swaggers across the pub, pinching women's arses, giving their boobs a wee jiggle and saying filthy suggestions to them on the way back to Sir Ian, who is sitting there thoroughly embarrassed.
Sir Ian decides there and then to do away with his creation and leads him up to the highest building he can see and pushes it off the edge.
Sir Ian gets back down to the bottom and is swiftly huckled by the police.
"I suppose I'll be doing life for murder." he says, resigned to his fate.
"No" the policeman says, "We're arresting you on suspicion of making an obscene clone fall."
The clone goes up to the bar and shouts, "Hoi! Big milky-titted barmaid, get me a pint!"
The clone gets his pint and swaggers across the pub, pinching women's arses, giving their boobs a wee jiggle and saying filthy suggestions to them on the way back to Sir Ian, who is sitting there thoroughly embarrassed.
Sir Ian decides there and then to do away with his creation and leads him up to the highest building he can see and pushes it off the edge.
Sir Ian gets back down to the bottom and is swiftly huckled by the police.
"I suppose I'll be doing life for murder." he says, resigned to his fate.
"No" the policeman says, "We're arresting you on suspicion of making an obscene clone fall."
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
GM
Legendary Member
- Location
- North of the river
betty swollocks
large member
The Crofted Crest
Veteran
Nice to see you again, Moon bunny.
Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
There was an old man who lived in a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do," the man continued, "is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do," the man continued, "is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
