Any good jokes ... ?

[PaulB]

Congratulations to Hugh Zappritti Boyden on his new role as Chairman of the British Budgerigar Association.

You can all re-tweet that if you like.

 

[Profpointy]

Just found this

 

[betty swollocks]

The BRIT Awards the other evening reminded me of when I did security a few years back.

It really kicked off between Steps and Jamiroquai and all the other security had gone home.

So the only thing between H and JK was I.

 

[PaulSB]

You can all re-tweet that if you like.

I would if I understood it......

 

[further]

HIJK

 

[PaulB]

A man with a stutter has died in prison before he could finish his sentence.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

A woman in labour shouts "couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, shouldn't". The Dr says "Don't worry those are just contractions."

 

[Supersuperleeds]

I would if I understood it......

Hugh Zappritti Boyden = Who's a pretty boy then

 

[mistyoptic]

 

[Mike Ayling]

Hugh Zappritti Boyden = Who's a pretty boy then

Who's a pretty boy den

 

[Supersuperleeds]

Who's a pretty boy den

Not you and don't call me Den

 

[Dirk]

A Moth walks in to a dentist's surgery, sits in the chair and proceeds to open his heart to the dentist.......
Moth: I was abused as a caterpillar.....my parents deserted me......I have nightmares about being eaten by spiders......I'm ugly with no self esteem.....I've got no friends and sometimes feel suicidal etc etc.

The dentist turns to the moth and said 'Man, you're really screwed up aren't you.........I think you should really see a Psychologist. Why did you come to see me?'

The moth said 'Well..........the light was on'.

 

[CharlesF]

I got so drunk last night I don't know if I found some keys or lost a car.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Old Professors never die. They just loose their Faculties