Any good jokes ... ?
- Thread starter cisamcgu
- Start date
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A man goes to confession and asks the priest for forgiveness.
The priest asks him for some details and the man tells him that he has slept with a different woman every night for the last month with 2 each Sunday.
The priest tells him to say 5 hail Mary's and then to squeeze the juice from 5 lemons and drink in in one go.
Puzzled, the man asks "and will that absolve me"?
The priest tells him "no, but it will wipe that smile off your face".
The priest asks him for some details and the man tells him that he has slept with a different woman every night for the last month with 2 each Sunday.
The priest tells him to say 5 hail Mary's and then to squeeze the juice from 5 lemons and drink in in one go.
Puzzled, the man asks "and will that absolve me"?
The priest tells him "no, but it will wipe that smile off your face".
rikki
Legendary Member
- Location
- Limestone Coast, South Australia
rikki
Legendary Member
- Location
- Limestone Coast, South Australia
ebikeerwidnes
Guru
- Location
- Z’ha’dum
Reminds me of a weather indicator on a building near I used to park near when walking in North Wales
it was just a small rock on a piece of string
teh board behind it said
"weather detection kit
can't see rock - night
can see rock - day
rock has a shadow - sunny
rock has no shadow - cloudy
rock wet - raining
rock dry - not rainy (it will be in a minute)
rock swinging - windy
rock still - not windy
rock shaking - earthquake
rock missing - Hurricane!!!
or something like that
3 married men, its Sunday and they are fishing on a lake.
One says "you have no idea what I go through for the wife to let me come fishing. This time I've had to promise to paint and decorate the kitchen next weekend".
The 2nd one says "that's nothing. I have promised to do the kitchen AND the bathroom".......he then asks the 3rd man how he manages to get out......
He says "it's easy. At 05.00 I woke the wife and ask 'well, sex or fishing'? and she rolls over and tells me "don't forget the sun blocker".
One says "you have no idea what I go through for the wife to let me come fishing. This time I've had to promise to paint and decorate the kitchen next weekend".
The 2nd one says "that's nothing. I have promised to do the kitchen AND the bathroom".......he then asks the 3rd man how he manages to get out......
He says "it's easy. At 05.00 I woke the wife and ask 'well, sex or fishing'? and she rolls over and tells me "don't forget the sun blocker".
Profpointy
Legendary Member
Only the one house ?
Yellow Fang
Legendary Member
- Location
- Reading
Kermit and Miss Piggy go into a bar. Kermit says "A pint of mild and a dark beer for the lady."
Barman - "Stout?"
Kermit - "Can't you be more sensitive."
Barman - "Stout?"
Kermit - "Can't you be more sensitive."
