Any good jokes ... ?

[DRM]

just come back from Italy - their idea of an "Americano" is far smaller, far stronger and so much better that the word "far" just isn;t enough

Try telling the ignorant American woman sat next to us outside a cafe in Sorrento, moaning that "They Can't even make a decent cup of god damn coffee" then being surprised when they were ignored by the staff

 

[Gwylan]

Try telling the ignorant American woman sat next to us outside a cafe in Sorrento, moaning that "They Can't even make a decent cup of god damn coffee" then being surprised when they were ignored by the staff

Experience suggests most Americans, those who have never seen the sea or have a passport, judge coffee quality by volume.

Also they believe that it must be totally transparent.
That is, you have to be able to see the bottom of the cup.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Yesterday I paid a guy to build a bed for the spare room.
He's taken my money and done a bunk!!

Jings, it's just one thing on top of another!

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Experience suggests most Americans, those who have never seen the sea or have a passport, judge coffee quality by volume.

Also they believe that it must be totally transparent.
That is, you have to be able to see the bottom of the cup.

The hotel we stayed at in Italy had amazing coffee at breakfast
You got it out of a machine

It was a decent black colour and had a proper brown frothy layer on the top

but tasted exactly like hot water

I have no clue how they managed to have enough "something" in it to change the colour and create the top layer
and have exactly zero change in taste over just water
quite impressive actually

if you paid for a coffee during the day then the stuff you got was great
but breakfast was - not

 

[DRM]

Experience suggests most Americans, those who have never seen the sea or have a passport, judge coffee quality by volume.

Also they believe that it must be totally transparent.
That is, you have to be able to see the bottom of the cup.

Oh believe me, it really was an education people watching American tourists, the lady with 2 young daughters in tow, wanting to go on the ferry to Capri was one prime example, however the poor chap in the ticket office could not, for the life of him, get through to her that the ferry left in the morning, then picked up in the evening, all she could say was "But I wanna go to Capri" then topped it off with "Can't you catch a bus to Capri" I didn't laugh, much, despite the Pack it in glare from Mrs DRM!

 

[tyred]

 

[rustybolts]

It's the best i can do,i hated school.there was an occasion where the School Attendance officer was called my parents were threatened if my attendance did not improve.Hated school totally.Some right barsteward teachers at Allerton Grange Leeds 17,during the 60's.They will all be dead now so i might not get sued.

type them any way you like FFS ! they always make me laugh or smile , share your feeling about school , teachers were tools for the most part for me also , tell your spelling critic and grammer to goe and fruck hisself

 

[king of the mole hills]

type them any way you like FFS ! they always make me laugh or smile , share your feeling about school , teachers were tools for the most part for me also , tell your spelling critic and grammer to goe and fruck hisself

Well said mate make me laugh too
The postman always delivers

 

[postman]

Well said mate make me laugh too
The postman always delivers

Oh thank you all.
Since posting i have lost three fingers after an accident with a saw.
I asked the doctor will i be able to write with that hand.
i think so he replied,
But don't count on it.

 

[postman]

Just been to Currys.Will someone recommend me a good electric kettle.Kenwood someone shouted,ok i'll talk to him.

 

[postman]

Talking Christmas with Mrs P i know it's only October.She wants a green jumper,do pet shops sell frogs.

 

[raleighnut]

Just been to Currys.Will someone recommend me a good electric kettle.Kenwood someone shouted,ok i'll talk to him.

I remember BITD when someone I knew bought a Kenwood HiFi he wasn't impressed when I asked him if it had a blender attachment or where the toaster slots were.

 

[Dave7]

Anyone who says thier wedding day was the best day of thier life has never had 2 KitKats drop out of the vending machine.

 

[Dave7]

At a Job Interview.....

Q. Do you have any pets ?

A. I have a goldfish

Q. Any hobbies ?

A. Well he likes to swim.

 

[Cavalol]

In other news today, the short sighted vasectomy surgeon at my local hospital has got the sack.