Any good jokes ... ?

[Cavalol]

 

[craigwend]

 

[markemark]

View attachment 802425

And rather poignant given the news of his long term partner.

 

[DRM]

Historians based at the Kangaroos Pouch Pub in the deepest Australian Outback have discovered the name of the jolly Swagman in the song Waltzing Matilda, after much research, several pints of Victoria Bitter, and half a dozen pies, they made an annoucement that the Jolly Swagman was called Andrew, a spokesperson said it's pretty obvious really, the song goes
"Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Andy sang as he watched, as he waited while his billy boiled,
You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me"

 

[craigwend]

 

[craigwend]

 

[Cavalol]

Where does your mum come from?
'Alaska'
Don't bother, I'll find out myself.

 

[Jameshow]

View attachment 802425

I was at hull fair once.
And a lady in a van has a sign saying
"Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will not be doing readings today"....😂😂😂

 

[craigwend]

An 80 year old man went for his annual check-up
the Doctor said, "For your age, you're in the best shape I've ever seen."

The old man replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. I know for sure that I live a good, clean, spiritual life."

The Doctor ask him, "What makes you say that?"

The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life, the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom lights on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night."

The Doc was concerned, "You mean, when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord himself turns the light on for you?"

"Yep," the old man said, "whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me."

When the old man's wife came in for her check-up, the doctor felt he had to let her know what her husband said.

"Your husband's in fine physical shape, but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him. "

"He What?" She cried.

"He said that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."

"AHA!!" She exclaimed.......... "So he's the one who's been peeing in the fridge!"

 

[bruce1530]

An alcoholic goes to the doctor, complaining of memory loss. Pains in his stomach. Headaches. Bruising. Toilet problems. All sorts.

The doctor examines him.

"Well sir, I've examined you thoroughly, and done various tests. I can't find any medical cause for all your symptoms. I can only assume that it must be the drink."

"Oh, that's OK Doctor, I'll come back when you're sober..."

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

View attachment 802480

Does it still taste like Coke??

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

I was at hull fair once.
And a lady in a van has a sign saying
"Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will not be doing readings today"....😂😂😂

I do wonder why you need to book to see them

 

[Mike Ayling]

Historians based at the Kangaroos Pouch Pub in the deepest Australian Outback have discovered the name of the jolly Swagman in the song Waltzing Matilda, after much research, several pints of Victoria Bitter, and half a dozen pies, they made an annoucement that the Jolly Swagman was called Andrew, a spokesperson said it's pretty obvious really, the song goes
"Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me
Andy sang as he watched, as he waited while his billy boiled,
You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me"

And on that topic the Tillies managed to beat a far better on the ground Norf Korea 2-1.
Go the Tillies!

 

[Speicher]

Where does your mum come from?
'Alaska'
Don't bother, I'll find out myself.

Juno Juneau which town?

 

[Seevio]

Where does your mum come from?
'Alaska'
Don't bother, I'll find out myself.

My wife went to the Caribbean.
Jamaica?
No, it was her choice.