Any good jokes ... ?

[tyred]

A secretary where I worked many years ago was filling away the previous days paperwork and spotted something that made her a panicked call to the HR director’s PA to ask her to intercept a letter. The director’s name was a Mr A. White. Unfortunately W and S are quite close to each other on a QWERTY keyboard.

The Dean of the local cathedral used to be Dean White when I was at school. I remember him as he used to be in and around the school at times when I was there.

A typo in the local rag meant they ran a story about something and it said "Dean S**** commented that..."

 

[tyred]

 

[PeteXXX]

I asked singer Elkie Brooks if I could guess her dog’s name.
She said, “Go on then, but you’re a fool if you think it’s Rover.”

 

[AndyRM]

I used to work with a guy called John Thomas

The events manager at a radio station I worked at is called Daley Rogers.

 

[PeteXXX]

I stopped at the motorway services the other day, went in the shop and picked up a small bottle of coke, a bag of crisps and a mars bar.

At the till I said to the cashier ….'Sorry I only have a twenty pound note' ,

She said...….'That's ok you can put the crisps back.' 😋

 

[Dave7]

A woman phones 999 and says "i need an ambulance asap".
The operator asks the nature of the problem and the woman says "i banged my big toe on the chair".
The operator says "and you want an ambulance for that"?
The woman's "no, dont be silly, the ambulance is for my husband.....he laughed at me".

 

[Electric_Andy]

I spent two years writing to solicitors for the National Westmonster Bank before anyone noticed the typo in the letter heading.

I have slipped up a few times and signed off an email with kind retards,

 

[Profpointy]

I have slipped up a few times and signed off an email with kind retards,

There was a classic from a financial services company. They were targeting wealthy customers for certain services and when trying out the wording for mailing software had "dear Mr Rich Bastard" as part of the test data. I think you can see where this is going, and yes, that's exactly what got mailed to all their wealthiest clients.

In my own career I was very careful with any humour in programmes or test data, though I did have railway test data based on films and songs 3:10 to Yuma, Clarksville (last train) and so on, but was happy for the client to see that.

My railway oppo did tell me that they once had "oh shoot" accidentally stored in their recorded announcements which made it into the live system. The voice actress had said it after muffing up a line, and somehow they'd saved the wrong version. It was for a fairly unusual circumstance so they missed it in final testing and it was only discovered a year or more later when whatever unusual event it was got announced

 

[CharlieB]

I used to almost always sign off emails to regular colleagues with a simple ‘C’ above my default outlook signature. One day I popped out an email to a female colleague with a typo’d ‘X’ (next to the C).
She then reported me for possible sexual harassment. A bit harsh but there you go.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Just seen this

 

[Dave7]

Our neighborhood flasher was going to retire but has decided to stick it out for another year.

 

[Toshiba Boy]

A nun gets into a taxi.

She notices the driver is staring at her.

"Is something wrong young man?"

The driver looks embarrassed, "I've always had a fantasy of being kissed by a nun."

The nun smiles and replies "Alright, but only if you are single and Catholic."

"Yes, yes I am!"

She gives him a long, passionate kiss.

The driver then starts crying.

"What's the matter?" she asks.

"I lied Sister, I am married and I'm Jewish."

"That's ok" the nun laughs, " My name's Geoff, and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party."

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

 

[Dave7]

A nun gets into a taxi.

She notices the driver is staring at her.

"Is something wrong young man?"

The driver looks embarrassed, "I've always had a fantasy of being kissed by a nun."

The nun smiles and replies "Alright, but only if you are single and Catholic."

"Yes, yes I am!"

She gives him a long, passionate kiss.

The driver then starts crying.

"What's the matter?" she asks.

"I lied Sister, I am married and I'm Jewish."

"That's ok" the nun laughs, " My name's Geoff, and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party."

You toned it down well for CC

 

[Tenkaykev]