Any good jokes ... ?

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tyred

Squire
Location
Ireland
FB_IMG_1778357344845.jpg
 

Dave7

Legendary Member
Location
Cheshire
A married couple near a bus stop and there is a single man there. The wife says "look, that is the Archbishop, I'm sure it is.....you go and ask him"
So the obedient husband walks over and asks him "excuse me, are you the Archbishop "?
The guy looks at him and says "why dont you f**k off you areshole".
The husband goes and repeats it to his wife who says "that's a shame, now we'll never know if its the Archbishop ".
 

presta

Legendary Member
Man goes to the doctor.
“Doc, I am passing gas constantly. It’s silent and doesn’t smell, but it’s always going on.”
Doctor hands the man two pills. “Swallow these. I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”
15 minutes later, doctor walks back in.
Man says, “I don’t know what those were but now my farts smell.”
Doctor says “now that we've fixed your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”
 

Dave7

Legendary Member
Location
Cheshire
The teacher asked the class if they could think of a sentence with the word 'pistol' in it.
Little Mary said "my daddy is a soldier and he has a rifle and a pistol.
Teacher says "very good Mary".
Little Johnny said "my Dad isn't a soldier. He goes to the pub and is on the piss till it closes".
 

tyred

Squire
Location
Ireland
My work phone autocorrects to Best Refards, which worryingly means I've sent it that way a few times.

My previous company did a lot of work for a German company.

Their emails always had a signature saying Mit freundlichen Grüßen.

A colleague once wrote a reply "Dear Mr. Grüßen :laugh:
 
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