Any good jokes ... ?

[Ming the Merciless]

A man gets home after work and finds his girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman. She says, “You ́re being arrested under suspicion of being good in bed”.

Two minutes later, she is getting dressed again. The man asks her “will you take me to the cells, officer?”

She sighs and says, “No. All your charges are dropped due to lack of evidence”.

 

[tyred]

 

[Dave7]

I have been trying to remember the French word for white but my mind has gone blanc.

 

[Dave7]

A guy called Frank, a very keen fisherman, dies.
His wife asked the local paper to put in the obituary "Frank is dead" and explains that is all she can afford.
The manager feels sorry so offers to add 3 words for free
She is happy with that and changes it to Frank is dead, boat for sale.

 

[srj10]

My girlfriend was devastated when she discovered the real reason my nickname is The Love Machine.
It's because I'm rubbish at tennis.

 

[tyred]

 

[tyred]

 

[rockyroller]

View attachment 809235

reminds me of, if women think men are so dumb, why are they surprised when we do dumb things?

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

reminds me of, if women think men are so dumb, why are they surprised when we do dumb things?

You are not supposed to ask that

It Is In The Rules
I think the rules are written on the thing you sign when you get married

but it is done in a special colour that only women can see

probably one of those ones that my wife explains when she is choosing a new sofa/dress/curtain etc etc

 

[rockyroller]

You are not supposed to ask that

It Is In The Rules
I think the rules are written on the thing you sign when you get married

but it is done in a special colour that only women can see

probably one of those ones that my wife explains when she is choosing a new sofa/dress/curtain etc etc

darnit, that reminds me, she wants a new sofa

 

[Webbo2]

When your partner questions aspects of your behaviour or your personality. Ask them them about their ability to choose the right thing, when they confirm they have good taste and usually choose the right thing. Remind them they picked you.😱

 

[Sharky]

When your partner questions aspects of your behaviour or your personality. Ask them them about their ability to choose the right thing, when they confirm they have good taste and usually choose the right thing. Remind them they picked you.😱

And if you tell your partner to "embrace her mistakes", I've no doubt she will give you a big hug!

 

[Hover Fly]

When your partner questions aspects of your behaviour or your personality. Ask them them about their ability to choose the right thing, when they confirm they have good taste and usually choose the right thing. Remind them they picked you.😱

I said something like that to my present wife, “I only started going out with you for a bet” was her reply.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

I said something like that to my present wife, “I only started going out with you for a bet” was her reply.

How much was it???

 

[Seevio]

I said something like that to my present wife, “I only started going out with you for a bet” was her reply.

Was that the challenge or the forfeit?