Boris Bajic
Guest
Matthew, this is a tired format now and it must be galling for you to see the same old gits (me and others) making the same old points.
You disagree with us, while I and others think you are punching rough-rendered walls with bare knuckles and will gain nothing but pain from the exercise.
It is an impasse that repeats itself whenever you post a video. I have thought and thought and thought. You sit in age right between my two elder children, both of them keen cyclists. They may even post on things like this without my knowledge... I see that you invite contructive criticism and I offer you this as I would hope others might offer something to my offspring:
1. You ride with a club. That is excellent. Club riders are often gnarled old racers and many of them have decades of cycling and driving experience. They know the roads out your way, where we do not. They know the danger spots, the tricky junctions and all the rest of it. On a club run with ten other riders, you probably have hundreds of combined years of road experience. Furthermore, if you are in a chaingang, you are very likely to elicit a few noisy or revvy responses from drivers. It is wrong, but they do it. Chaingangs are hard to pass at times and although they have every right to be there, this makes some drivers cross. Observe how club riders deal with this. Listen to them. Watch how they ride and where they ride. In terms of cycling knowledge at your fingertips, they are probably an unrivalled resource for you. Use them as such to your own benefit.
2. When riding alone, make a conscious decision one day not to speak a word to another road user, not to shake your head, not to wag a finger, not to point at the camera or make any signal apart from those required by the HC (turns etc). It may be very difficult to do. But try as hard as you can to do it. Also, if someone winds you up, make a conscious decision NOT to catch up with them and prove a point. Once you have achieved those goals once, see how you feel after the ride. Does it feel better? More relaxed? Try it again and again and again until it is your default setting. You may find that you reach the end of your ride in a much more relaxed state. (And it is clear from your extensive YouTube library that you are often extremely 'un-relaxed'). Give yourself a reward for each confrontation avoided and each confrontation-free ride. Seriously.
3. Start a diary (not online) of your rides. Distance, date, route, average speed, weather, good points, bad points etc... Write it after you get back. Just use a diary or a notebook with a space for each heading. Note also (gulp) the number of times you have wanted to speak to, shake your head at or otherwise interact with another road user and have resisted the temptation to do so. Be completely honest with yourself about that bit. Keep it offline and keep it on paper. Just for you. See if you notice any change in your wish to confront and challenge other road users.
4. Every time (EVERY TIME) you feel tempted to chide another road user for this, that or the other wrongdoing, imagine how you'd feel if you made some error and had someone with your attitude speaking to you the way you speak to others. You can imagine it if you try. It is likely that imagining such a blunt approach by a finger-wagging, head-shaking teen taking what may appear to be a patronising tone will make you shudder. It may make you want to retaliate. That is how others probably react when confronted by you. Do bear in mind how you appear to those you speak to. In your videos it is quite stark how what you think are polite approaches come across as haranguing and brusque.
You may think this is patronising twoddle. You may be right. But I guarantee that you will enjoy your rides more if you follow that advice and other people will enjoy sharing the road with you more. You may swear that you already enjoy your rides, but your enormous video library on Youtube suggests that your blood-pressure barometer spends much of its time in the MR ANGRY zone. You do not come across as a happy road user and your Youtube channel is the chief witness for the prosecution.
I hope you'll see the above as constructive and I hope you'll follow it. The guys in your local club have been doing for decades what you've been doing for a few months. Maybe they've been doing something right all these years...
Seriously, give it a go.
Whatever you may think of the above, it is written with a change for the better for you in mind.
