Appropriate insults to hurl at motorists

[mustang1]

Why don't you buy a Bentley if you think you own the road?
(or Rolls Royce if the guy is already in a Bentley)

Your car smells of your fart or are you just breathing normally?

I wish I had a flash car like yours.

I think your car needs an upgrade.

Look there's a copper! No wait, I mean you're a nobber!

 

[sheddy]

When beeped, I call out 'how are you, not seen you for ages'.

 

[Lozz360]

I take it you dont drive a car ...???

Isn't the OP an American? In which case it is very likely he does.

 

[Lozz360]

The 'Flight or Fight' instinct kicking in!

Flight is obviously better, but I find it hard not to get aggressive when someone has been dangerously careless and/or aggressive towards me...

Here is one example, which could very easily have led to my death...

Must of been scary for you.

It always amazes me, the extent that some motorists will go to, in order to overtake the cyclist. This need to overtake never takes into consideration the speed the cyclist is going. Many times I have been overtaken by a car which causes another car travelling in the opposite direction to brake to avoid a collision between the two. On one occasion the other driver had to brake and swerve onto the grass verge!

 

[Blue Hills]

Must of been scary for you.

It always amazes me, the extent that some motorists will go to, in order to overtake the cyclist. This need to overtake never takes into consideration the speed the cyclist is going. Many times I have been overtaken by a car which causes another car travelling in the opposite direction to brake to avoid a collision between the two. On one occasion the other driver had to brake and swerve onto the grass verge!

very often of course if not on the open road you end up overtaking the nobber up the road anyway. Gives me great satisfaction to give them a cheery wave as i do.

 

[matticus]

The 'Flight or Fight' instinct kicking in!

Flight is obviously better, but I find it hard not to get aggressive when someone has been dangerously careless and/or aggressive towards me...

Yes, it's perfectly normal behaviour - most mammals, primates etc do the same thing. Bottling up rage can be just as damaging.

Further anal-ysis: I suspect that if you don't feel an instinct to shout anything, you weren't very angry about the situation (perhaps more of a flight type). If you are really quite angry, shouting may come naturally so is a release, not something that compounds a bad mood.

(the risk of enraging a motorist psychopath is a different issue; although I'd say it's been exaggerated here by some, extrapolating from 1-or-two unlucky incidents. I've only been put in hopsital by someone who hit me entirely by mistake, I think that's the greater risk on our roads.)

 

[FishFright]

I am an oasis of calm and best medicine is not to react but also to assert your position on the road.

And later put them on the naughty list ?

 

[C R]

Yes, it's perfectly normal behaviour - most mammals, primates etc do the same thing. Bottling up rage can be just as damaging.

Further anal-ysis: I suspect that if you don't feel an instinct to shout anything, you weren't very angry about the situation. If you are really quite angry, shouting may come naturally so is a release, not something that compounds a bad mood.

(the risk of enraging a motorist psychopath is a different issue; although I'd say it's been exaggerated here by some, extrapolating from 1-or-two unlucky incidents. I've only been put in hopsital by someone who hit me entirely by mistake, I think that's the greater risk on our roads.)

It is fortunately true that actual purposeful damage by a motorist is rare. In my case I don't think the driver meant to cause an accident, but his actions did cause me to fall off.

I think what we are saying is that, one, you don't know that the driver isn't a nutter, and if they are, the consequences could be very serious, and two, even if the driver doesn't mean to cause harm, in the heat of the moment they may indeed cause something they didn't intend to. In any case, the cyclist is likely to end up worse off, so discretion and circumspection may be the best options.

 

[Drago]

Just shout, "you motorist!"

What worse insult could their possibly be?

 

[russ.will]

I'm supposed to shout at myself? Is there a subset of insults to shout at myself when I'm a two-wheeled motorist?

 

[Drago]

If you're really going for it you can punch yourself in the mouth for extra authenticity.

 

[matticus]

I'm supposed to shout at myself? Is there a subset of insults to shout at myself when I'm a two-wheeled motorist?

Depends ... are you likely to retaliate and mow someone down??

 

[Sterlo]

I usually just wave at the offender and say "thank you"!

 

[cm2mackem]

I mostly wear my Royal Marines kit, when I haven't got it on its amazing how reactions change

 

[matticus]

I usually just wave at the offender and say "thank you"!

I like this approach: either they think you've thanked them for good driving (everyone's happy).
or, knowing they've been a twunt, they realise you're being sarcastic (everyone's happy).