Are you gay?

[papercorn2000]

Does 'gay' not mean rubbish these days?

If it is I think being gay would be gay.

Yeah, kids these days seem to have redefined the word. I have also noticed that kids these days can be less judgemental and accepting of people who are of a different sexuality. Doesn't mean that they don't get a hard time from some, just that IME, gay kids seem to be more accepted by their peers.

 

[Zoiders]

I often pass as straight unless I start dropping hints to people. It doesn't normally matter, but there have been many times I've deliberately acted a bit camp in order to implicitly suggest my sexuality (e.g. if a woman seems sexually interested in me). Sometimes I need to be more direct with people, but it can embarrass them so subtler clues are often better. Of course it also a code for other gay (or bi) men to pick up on and that can have its benefits.

You've hit an interesting point about straight pubs and a very exaggerated form of masculinity, which is often quite 'artificial' (or at the very least alcohol induced). A lot of gay bars mark themselves out as being distinctive and different by consciously going the opposite way. But I don't believe gay men are naturally camp, more feminised or more prone to liking Kylie.

Is it OK to tell women you are gay when you arent just to avoid the attentions of a fixated munter?

 

[Smokin Joe]

Women often seem attracted to effeinate men. I had a friend who was very straight but rather camp, and I have never known anyone who could pull women like he could. In fact a workmate used to take the piss out of him something rotten, calling him a queer both to his face and behind his back to anyone who would listen. The question of this guys sexuality was settled when he got the loudmouths daughter pregnant.

 

[papercorn2000]

Touche!

 

[barq]

Is it OK to tell women you are gay when you arent just to avoid the attentions of a fixated munter?

I have a feeling that might all go terribly wrong!

 

[barq]

Women often seem attracted to effeinate men.

There are some straight men who pretend to be gay in order to attract women. I have no idea whether this really works, and I can't imagine it would have much mileage, but they call themselves 'strays' (STRaight gAYS). I wanted to interview some of them about three years ago but I struggled to recruit them. Cosmo did a feature on them about the same time (I guess they pay more money ).

 

[Jacomus-rides-Gen]

There are some straight men who pretend to be gay in order to attract women. I have no idea whether this really works, and I can't imagine it would have much mileage, but they call themselves 'strays' (STRaight gAYS). I wanted to interview some of them about three years ago but I struggled to recruit them. Cosmo did a feature on them about the same time (I guess they pay more money ).

Psshhh, an old tactic, makes it waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too easy. In the City all you need to do is learn the difference between a T&G and Sachs haircut, pay attention, and go for it. Its absurd how easy being a little effeminate came make it. A little bit of compliments about their clothes, including a little feel of the material breaks the touch barrier in a very neutral way. Then a bit more chatting and joking, talk a little time to bitch about other women and how badly dressed they are. et voila.

 

[simon l& and a half]

that's an extension of the eternal verity of seduction - ask yourself what the object of your affection delights in and occupy that space. My friend P**** is 46 years old, single, and has always wanted to meet women. Sadly he spends Saturdays at football and Sundays playing golf. I've suggested hanging out in art galleries, or going to the theatre, but he just doesn't seem to get it.

 

[Chris James]

But I don't believe gay men are naturally camp, more feminised or more prone to liking Kylie.

I don't think gay men are naturally camp either. In fact my campest mate is straight. I also quite like Kylie - the arse if not the music!

 

[Chris James]

I'm not sure this is because homosexuality is only presented in this particular way, but rather because their behaviour is instantly associated with their sexuality.

Alternatively, the way Ian McKellen, Paul Gambaccini, Stephen Fry, Matthew Parris and Sandi Toksvig (etc) behave doesn't instantly trigger the same response. But they are all in the public eye and make no bones about their sexuality.

That is true although I think that the one's you have listed HAPPEN to be gay and are on the box wheares the ones I have listed entire acts appear to revolve around being gay.

I don't know what the heterosexual equivalent would be - Top Gear style blokishness?

 

[Smokin Joe]

In the dark days of the sixties when I began my working and nightlife career any apparantly "Normal" male who was outed as gay was in very real physical danger. Yet outrageously camp gays in the Danny LaRue mould were regarded with a degree of affection and could work and socialise in relative safety. It was regarded by the average macho male as ok to be gay provided you made yourself a figure of fun, but it was unacceptabley perverted to be normal in every other way apart from your sexuality.

It was pretty similar for blacks, if they played the grinning banana boat character of the stage they were accepted, but life was much more difficult for those who didn't fit the music hall image and know their place.

 

[yenrod]

Check this one:

A friend of the 'the woman' went to Africa, to work - for a couple of years met a bloke he's about 3 yrs younger than her - shes 34.

Anyhow they married had a baby there and returned here to live.

To go on, the bloke who is a good lad as Id put it, ok, balanced, good sense of humour etc..and as hes grown up in Africa; we were talking about the differences betweeen men and women in this country compared to Africa. He noticed that the men here are quite effeminate.

And I totally agreed simply because women now, are soo strong in mind but in this culture/country - so from my angle its not surprising there are more gays nowadays !

Where'as! in Africa the Mans the king of the family and not doubted or put down or whatever...what he says goes !

 

[arranandy]

I like Kylie and have a fondness for wearing lycra Does that make me gay?

 

[Flying_Monkey]

I've never had any problem with what gender people are - I've had equally disastrous relationships with women and men (!), though far more of the former (and not all so disastrous, actually). I simply find a lot more women attractive (and they seem to like me) and it's much rarer that I'm attracted to a man (although I used to get a fair number of offers when I was younger and prettier). This made it overwhelmingly more likely that I'd settle down with a woman especially as I've always wanted children of my own (and with the person with whom I was going to spend my life).

 

[papercorn2000]

Personally I really don't see what is attractive about men! I am just so surprised that more women don't feel that way!

Men are all horrible and hairy and rough. Women are nice and soft and smooth and they (generally) smell nice. What women see in us is quite frankly beyond me!