Joey Shabadoo
My pronouns are "He", "Him" and "buggerlugs"
Signed up for the MOKbike challenge. Checked with the organiser who said my Tricross would handle the mountain bike course as it was "mainly forest trails". Drove overnight to Campbelltown and slept through dawn in the car. Proudly lined my £600 Tricross up alongside £4000 full suspension Orange bikes at the start. One guy told his mate - "He's brave doing the course on that - must be fit". I never saw him or his mate again after the start.
Half an hour in it was clear there was no way I would complete the course so I took a "shortcut" back to the start, through a muddy field where I sank up to my knees. Made it to the start in time to do a 60-odd mile Sportive. Scraped off the mud, pumped up the tyres, jumped on the saddle and overheard one girl telling her partner "Coo, he's just finished the mountain bike course and now he's doing this - that's hardcore."
I never saw her or her partner again after the start. In part because I finished last and in part because I got lost and did 20 extra miles (all uphill).
I got one of the last Macmillan t-shirts at the finish - an XS. Not much good for a 17st fat guy. The pub had run out of cask ale and I got the last scrapings of what might have been a chicken curry with some oatcakes because there was no rice.
I learned two things - a Tricross is not a mountain bike and a Tricross is not a Sportive bike. Also, a 17st fat guy is unlikely to be good at either.
Half an hour in it was clear there was no way I would complete the course so I took a "shortcut" back to the start, through a muddy field where I sank up to my knees. Made it to the start in time to do a 60-odd mile Sportive. Scraped off the mud, pumped up the tyres, jumped on the saddle and overheard one girl telling her partner "Coo, he's just finished the mountain bike course and now he's doing this - that's hardcore."
I never saw her or her partner again after the start. In part because I finished last and in part because I got lost and did 20 extra miles (all uphill).
I got one of the last Macmillan t-shirts at the finish - an XS. Not much good for a 17st fat guy. The pub had run out of cask ale and I got the last scrapings of what might have been a chicken curry with some oatcakes because there was no rice.
I learned two things - a Tricross is not a mountain bike and a Tricross is not a Sportive bike. Also, a 17st fat guy is unlikely to be good at either.