Chain oil for bikes - cheaper alternative?

[raleighnut]

I'm thinking of buying a large quantity of chainsaw oil and some little bottles to pack it in to, then selling them for £5 per 100ml over t'internet as "Ultimate Cycle Chain Lube". All I need to do is come up with some black plastic bottles with a fine nozzle and print off some snazzy labels to stick on and I could become rich, rich I tell you....................................Gibber gibber

 

[Yellow Saddle]

What I initially said was that I used a Dry Ceramic product on both types of chain. It was your assumption that this was a single product applied to both. I never said that was the case and, when my motorbike got written off recently, I gave all of my motorbike chain stuff to mate. Was never tempted to use on either of my bicycles.

It's academic really, as I don't see the point of arguing over this minutae.

Your posts have been very informative, and we're on the same page in our views, so let's not quibble over it?

My bad. I couldn't figure out what was recommended where.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

I'm thinking of buying a large quantity of chainsaw oil and some little bottles to pack it in to, then selling them for £5 per 100ml over t'internet as "Ultimate Cycle Chain Lube". All I need to do is come up with some black plastic bottles with a fine nozzle and print off some snazzy labels to stick on and I could become rich, rich I tell you....................................Gibber gibber

That works all the time and I can't see why you too can't climb onto the bandwagon. However, you have to get your label wording right.

Use words like "blend" instead of mix.
You have to use the words "formulated" and "special".
Then you have to come up with stating the obvious that is not so obvious. "This oil will not attract dirt" (Oil can't be magnetized to you are safe on that claim even if the Advertising Standards Authority calls you to explain."
The word "Dry" will appeal to half your market, so create at least half of the batch with a label that displays Dry as a feature.
Then you have to give yourself some cred too. "Formulated by a professional commuter after years and years of on-the-job study." The world "professional" is not optional.

Cycle all the way to the bank,

 

[ayceejay]

You only need David Beckham to put a bottle in his Y Ftonts strategically arranged and bingo!
Oh and if his miserable skinny wife has the name tattooed somewhere all is good - what is the name BTW

 

[themosquitoking]

Ultimate Cycle Chain Lube although i would recommend UCCL as it sounds about 34% more street.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ultimate Cycle Chain Lube although i would recommend UCCL as it sounds about 34% more street.

You can have UCCL Pro, for high end road bikes, UCCL Premium, a bit cheaper and UCCL Trail for mountain bikes. (All the same stuff, natch. Maybe put a shot of white spirit into the UCCL Premium)

 

[bpsmith]

I would rather buy Bottle Of Low Lubricating Oil of Chain Saw...or BOLLOCS.

Can then do Wet BOLLOCS or Dry BOLLOCS versions.

Different sizes. Large BOLLOCS or Small BOLLOCS.

Different climates. Hot BOLLOCS or Cold BOLLOCS.

Then differentiate the product a bit. Sticky BOLLOCS.

Indoor trainer version. Sweaty BOLLOCS.

Finally, sell it in bulk...Load of BOLLOCS.

Combining the names when ordering Starbucks style, could be fun. "I will have a Load of Large Hot Wet Sweaty BOLLOCS, along with one Small Cold Dry BOLLOC please."

 

[arch684]

I would rather buy Bottle Of Low Lubricating Oil of Chain Saw...or BOLLOCS.

Can then do Wet BOLLOCS or Dry BOLLOCS versions.

Different sizes. Large BOLLOCS or Small BOLLOCS.

Then differentiate the product a bit. Sticky BOLLOCS.

Indoor trainer version. Sweaty BOLLOCS.

Finally, sell it in bulk...Load of BOLLOCS.

Combining the names when ordering Starbucks style, could be fun. "I will have a Load of Large Wet Sweaty BOLLOCS, along with one Small Dry BOLLOC please."

think i will just stick with the pound shop bike oil

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Different sizes. Large BOLLOCS or Small BOLLOCS.

You just failed the test there my friend.

Never admit to Small, the default is Large.
As in Large, Extra Large and Jumbo.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Ultimate Cycle Chain Lube although i would recommend UCCL as it sounds about 34% more street.

Nope, I'm afraid that sounds like a university of sorts. You have to sound glarly, tough and tech. Work at it, you'll get there.

 

[bpsmith]

You just failed the test there my friend.

Never admit to Small, the default is Large.
As in Large, Extra Large and Jumbo.

It was my round, so was ordering for a work colleague too naturally.

 

[themosquitoking]

Nope, I'm afraid that sounds like a university of sorts. You have to sound glarly, tough and tech. Work at it, you'll get there.

The U stands for ultimate anything after that is automatically street. Ask ITV.

 

[TheDoctor]

Failing to see the issue with Wilco / Poundland / other cheap chain oil. A bottle lasts a couple of years...

 

[Browser]

Development of shaft-drive power transmission for bicycles, that's what we need (and a huge reduction in price of Rolhoff hubs), the we can all do away with chains and their lube

 

[ianrauk]

Failing to see the issue with Wilco / Poundland / other cheap chain oil. A bottle lasts a couple of years...

Judging by some of the posts and posters in this thread.... they are stocking up for the day when the oil wells run dry.