Dating advice required

[Hill Wimp]

Such piffle written on here. As a veritable lothario myself, let me tell you that the surest way to a woman's heart is to bombard her with phone calls and texts RIGHT NOW! At least 50 a day so she knows she's appreciated. They like the persistent approach so disregard her initial negativity and plough right on. She'll love you for that. If you know where she lives, go and stand outside her house and if you have binoculars or a telescope, take them with you so you can thrill her by telling her what colour bra she wears and that you know what programmes she likes on TV. If you know motor vehicles, get under her car and disable a simple but crucial part so when it fails to start, hey presto, a knight in shining armour (you) appears and fixes it for the grateful lady.

Oh yes, the ladies love that approach so much, you will even get to deal with them on an official level!

You need help

 

[EltonFrog]

Call her, take her out, buy her a pint of shandy, shag her. Sorted-bosh-Tuesday..

 

[Arch]

I think when starting out phone calls are best. When you know each other better texts are fine but shouldn't replace a whole conversation. The problem with texting is that an innocent text can be taken completely the wrong way. At least with a phone call you can hear gauge the meaning of the comment better. Just my preference.

Yeah, I'm just weird perhaps. I find the phone quite stressful, I think I rely very much on visual cues when talking to someone, and my hearing is sometimes a bit 'timelagged' - it can take me a moment to process what someone has said. I think that's magnified on the phone.

I think in that lady's situation, I'd welcome a text saying "Hi, it's X, it was nice to meet you yesterday, can I call you to chat later?" Nothing to misinterpret, and it gives her the chance to say "Yes, fine!" or "Yes, around 8 is best" or something like that. Gives her a little bit more control.

But I know I'm not necessarily a good template for the average woman.

 

[Hill Wimp]

Yeah, I'm just weird perhaps. I find the phone quite stressful, I think I rely very much on visual cues when talking to someone, and my hearing is sometimes a bit 'timelagged' - it can take me a moment to process what someone has said. I think that's magnified on the phone.

I think in that lady's situation, I'd welcome a text saying "Hi, it's X, it was nice to meet you yesterday, can I call you to chat later?" Nothing to misinterpret, and it gives her the chance to say "Yes, fine!" or "Yes, around 8 is best" or something like that. Gives her a little bit more control.

But I know I'm not necessarily a good template for the average woman.

Yeah that a good idea.

 

[mark st1]

Call her, take her out, buy her a pint of shandy, shag her. Sorted-bosh-Tuesday..

From the local offy though don't want to be setting an example of expensive nights out straight away!

 

[EltonFrog]

From the local offy though don't want to be setting an example of expensive nights out straight away!

Well indeed, I thought that was a given. Also make sure you've got a fiver for a taxi, just in case you need to elbow her a bit quick sharp, in case one of your mates phones for a game of darts.

 

[ufkacbln]

The neutrality of a lunch time session would also allow you to get an idea of her hobbies ans likes.

You can then almost "agree" on a suitable evening date if something comes up that you both like.

However avoid concerts, cinema etc where you end up interacting with the event rather than each other.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Such piffle written on here. As a veritable lothario myself, let me tell you that the surest way to a woman's heart is to bombard her with phone calls and texts RIGHT NOW! At least 50 a day so she knows she's appreciated. They like the persistent approach so disregard her initial negativity and plough right on. She'll love you for that. If you know where she lives, go and stand outside her house and if you have binoculars or a telescope, take them with you so you can thrill her by telling her what colour bra she wears and that you know what programmes she likes on TV. If you know motor vehicles, get under her car and disable a simple but crucial part so when it fails to start, hey presto, a knight in shining armour (you) appears and fixes it for the grateful lady.

Oh yes, the ladies love that approach so much, you will even get to deal with them on an official level!

Desperado/wierdo alert

 

[Sara_H]

I 've been middle aged free and single for nearly a year now....today I was lucky enough to meet a lovely filly and plucked up the courage to ask for her number which amazingly she gave me quite willingly....my question is this and perhaps the lady cycle chatters could advise me...now that I have her number how long should I wait before calling or texting her?

I feel I can offer some advice in this area, having been plunged back into the world of dating following divorce a few years ago (except in my case I was the lovely filly).

My OH is the only person I've ever asked out on a date. I admit I did text him and invited him round for a very informal dinner (had known him as a colleague for many years, so knew he was a trustworthy type, usual advice about first meeting in public places still stands ladies.)

First date went to pub for drinks then back to mine for something to eat.
Second date went out for a drive in his camper van. Second date was fall head over heels in love night

You may need to start thinking about your views on the third date rule!

 

[KittyJay]

my most memorable date was someone who treated me like he was out the 1950s. mostly because he then turned out to be the best shag ever.

Therefore it translates that a gentlemen who puts your needs first out of the bedroom, puts your needs first in the bedroom. Women know this. the ones that don't know it will come to know it and set it as a benchmark for all future dates. Doesn't matter what year it is.

No it doesn't. I've had terrible sex with perfect gentlemen and perfect sex with terrible men.

 

[ColinJ]

I don't like the 'kiss by 3rd date' advice because I would feel that I was working to a schedule, which wouldn't exactly produce romantic feelings. It took 7 years for my ex and I to get together; I don't like to rush!

Plus point: We were really sure of our feelings for each other by then.

Negative point: She looked really guilty, 'the morning after the night before'. I hugged her and asked what was wrong. In a shellshocked voice, she whispered "Oh God, I feel like I have just slept with my brother!"

 

[Sara_H]

No it doesn't. I've had terrible sex with perfect gentlemen and perfect sex with terrible men.

Hmmmm. I think I'm with Buggi on this one. Considerate out of the bedroom usually means considerate in the bedroom (or campervan).

 

[phil_hg_uk]

It took 7 years for my ex and I to get together; I don't like to rush!

Did you lose her phone number

 

[KittyJay]

Hmmmm. I think I'm with Buggi on this one. Considerate out of the bedroom usually means considerate in the bedroom (or campervan).

I suspect our definition of a "good shag" may be different...

 

[Sara_H]

I don't like the 'kiss by 3rd date' advice because I would feel that I was working to a schedule, which wouldn't exactly produce romantic feelings. It took 7 years for my ex and I to get together; I don't like to rush!

Plus point: We were really sure of our feelings for each other by then.

Negative point: She looked really guilty, 'the morning after the night before'. I hugged her and asked what was wrong. In a shellshocked voice, she whispered "Oh God, I feel like I have just slept with my brother!"

Ha ha! I'd known my OH for about 10 years when we got together, I had exactly the same trouble!