Divorce

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Saluki

Saluki

World class procrastinator
Location
...Norwich over the water.
Broughtonblue said:
Thank you, you summed every thing up perfectly, I'm blubbing like a baby again after reading that
I'm so f...ed up at the minute, sitting watching a re run of the voice on i player, and it's all bloody love songs or why did you leave me.....
Hope I can get through to Monday so I can see a doc before something happens
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Have you got a movie?? A nice Bourne or something?

+1 on telling your parents. I understand that they have stuff going on and worries that they are dealing with but they will be upset and cross that you have not told them. If they are local, just pop round and talk to them. I bet they will be really supportive and not just because it's their job.

If you really need someone to talk to before Monday, give the samaritans a call. They are not just there for the terminally depressed. If your kids are still home and haven't gone out yet, why not just sit them down and tell them. They might well be very supportive, they might already know. 20 year olds can be quite intuitive you know.
 
OP
OP
Broughtonblue

Broughtonblue

Guru
Location
Norfolk
Saluki said:
Have you got a movie?? A nice Bourne or something?

+1 on telling your parents. I understand that they have stuff going on and worries that they are dealing with but they will be upset and cross that you have not told them. If they are local, just pop round and talk to them. I bet they will be really supportive and not just because it's their job.

If you really need someone to talk to before Monday, give the samaritans a call. They are not just there for the terminally depressed. If your kids are still home and haven't gone out yet, why not just sit them down and tell them. They might well be very supportive, they might already know. 20 year olds can be quite intuitive you know.
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Tried the Samaritans earlier, waste of time
 
A

Arrowfoot

Guest
I am with Buggi. This is not the time to sugarcoat stuff. Its time to be frank and honest with one's opinion.

BB, you also need to look at the positives . 2 kids who are ready to fend for themselves, opportunity to plan your new life etc.
 
P

Profpointy

Legendary Member
No idea if this is any help, or even right, and anyhow, my circumstances were different, but I was in an extremely bad way emotionally, borderline suicidal to be honest, or at least I was doing a lot of rather risky things with a devil may care attitude. All I can say which may be of some comfort to your position, is that things improved. For what it's worth, is rightly or wrongly I did not seek any "counselling" nor medical help - to be honest I think I was not in a fit state to pursue these things - even if I "should" have done. Putting a very unhappy relationship behind me, actually was the first step, and the burden of stress and darkness lifted pretty much after that. Some years have now gone by and we're only just sorting out a divorce on a reasonably amicable basis. Maybe my lot was easier, but the only real advice I can perhaps give is think about yourself, and try not to harbour anger or resentment, and just think - next stage in your life. I'm now a very happy man some years on, but the dark times were there, and give me the willies in retrospect. This may or may not be any help of comfort, but I really wish you well, although we've never met.
 
J

John the Canuck

..a long way from somewhere called Home..
Location
Strathaven, Lanarkshire
another 'walking wounded' here

stay sober - nowt wrong with a nightcap though
eat sleep properly - you have a hard road ahead of you - stay calm, stay fit

now......the job is uncerain i assume - get some financial advice

rent the house - that'll pay the mortgage....... Where does she sleep..?...who cares.!

nice 2 bed flat with the youngest son
older one at Uni ....can 'bunk-up- if home for the weekend
they have to do their part too...they ARE old enough.!

best wishes mate ................when the dust settles - take a trip with the boys and have a laugh over it
 
400bhp

400bhp

Guru
Chin up fella.

Get out on that bike tomorrow. Smash it around or take it easy, see how you feel. Feck it, go out ALL day - back lanes, meandering, or have some purpose - get to a cafe stop you normally frequent. Be with some peeps that don't know the details.

Have something to focus on for tomorrow.:thumbsup:
 
OP
OP
Broughtonblue

Broughtonblue

Guru
Location
Norfolk
John the Canuck said:
another 'walking wounded' here

stay sober - nowt wrong with a nightcap though
eat sleep properly - you have a hard road ahead of you - stay calm, stay fit

now......the job is uncerain i assume - get some financial advice

rent the house - that'll pay the mortgage....... Where does she sleep..?...who cares.!

nice 2 bed flat with the youngest son
older one at Uni ....can 'bunk-up- if home for the weekend
they have to do their part too...they ARE old enough.!

best wishes mate ................when the dust settles - take a trip with the boys and have a laugh over it
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That's the thing, a pokey two bedroom flat!!!
Will cost about £500 a month, my mortgage at the mo is only £300 going backwards at this time of my life, this should be the time I enjoy life, instead it's a total disaster,
 
400bhp

400bhp

Guru
Broughtonblue said:
That's the thing, a pokey two bedroom flat!!!
Will cost about £500 a month, my mortgage at the mo is only £300 going backwards at this time of my life, this should be the time I enjoy life, instead it's a total disaster,
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Your house is as much her responsibility and as much hers to lose as yours, assuming you have equity built up.
 
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