Divorce

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classic33

classic33

Leg End Member
Completely different case to yours.
But with regards the drink. I'd three bottles of whiskey within easy reach, and it was easier to find a reason not to drink it than to drink it.
I also had the means, drugwise, to end end it. Again the same reasoning.
The two combined would have been a one way trip. Ask yourself are you ready to make that trip and make it alone!

I don't think you are. The hardest step is the first one, you've taken that. Now fight the other demons, don't become one due to drink.
 
Saluki

Saluki

World class procrastinator
Location
...Norwich over the water.
Broughtonblue said:
We would walk away with about £60k each, but what does that get you now days?
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A bloody good deposit and a shorter mortgage for another property?
 
OP
OP
Broughtonblue

Broughtonblue

Guru
Location
Norfolk
classic33 said:
Completely different case to yours.
But with regards the drink. I'd three bottles of whiskey within easy reach, and it was easier to find a reason not to drink it than to drink it.
I also had the means, drugwise, to end end it. Again the same reasoning.
The two combined would have been a one way trip. Ask yourself are you ready to make that trip and make it alone!

I don't think you are. The hardest step is the first one, you've taken that. Now fight the other demons, don't become one due to drink.
Click to expand...
At the minute I can't think of a reason not to drink it
 
ScotiaLass

ScotiaLass

Guru
Location
Middle Earth
Broughtonblue said:
That's the thing, a pokey two bedroom flat!!!
Will cost about £500 a month, my mortgage at the mo is only £300 going backwards at this time of my life, this should be the time I enjoy life, instead it's a total disaster,
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I'm 51. I had a lovely big house in a fantastic area, my kids went to exclusive schools, I had new cars...and a bastard of a husband.
I walked out and left all of that (well not the kids!) because I valued my sanity.
Now? I have a council house, a beat up Citroen C3 and husband, who, while not perfect, (who is?) is more understanding and patient than I could ever wish for.
I have picked myself up so many times it's not funny. I am still here. I don't have much in the way of material things, but am happy.
:hugs:
 
OP
OP
Broughtonblue

Broughtonblue

Guru
Location
Norfolk
ScotiaLass said:
I'm 51. I had a lovely big house in a fantastic area, my kids went to exclusive schools, I had new cars...and a bastard of a husband.
I walked out and left all of that (well not the kids!) because I valued my sanity.
Now? I have a council house, a beat up Citroen C3 and husband, who, while not perfect, (who is?) is more understanding and patient than I could ever wish for.
I have picked myself up so many times it's not funny. I am still here. I don't have much in the way of material things, but am happy.
:hugs:
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Really pleased for you, you sound a very good person.

At the minute I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, I know it's early but ......
 
ScotiaLass

ScotiaLass

Guru
Location
Middle Earth
Broughtonblue said:
At the minute I can't think of a reason not to drink it
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Here's the reasons:
You are stronger than that bottle.
In the morning you WILL regret it if you drink it.
You need a clear head. Do not confront her tonight when she comes in, distance yourself.
Tomorrow get out the way (or get her out the way!) and keep busy - go for a bike ride, visit a friend etc
On Monday consult your GP and a solicitor.
Tell your sons so they can support you. They aren't kids, they are grown men.
Do this your way!
There is light at the end of the tunnel. You are hurting but please don't let it consume you. Take control.

We're all here to help in anyway we can.
 
vernon

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
Broughtonblue said:
That's the thing, a pokey two bedroom flat!!!
Will cost about £500 a month, my mortgage at the mo is only £300 going backwards at this time of my life, this should be the time I enjoy life, instead it's a total disaster,
Click to expand...

It's only a total disaster if you want it to be. There are solutions to some if not all of your problems out there waiting to be discovered. You just need help to find them.

Summarising the posts so far.

  • See your GP - advised by myself, other posters and your HR department.
  • Contact your HR dept - they have started to advise you, keep them in the loop. They are there to help you function.
  • Contact a solicitor - you need to know your obligations and measures that you can take to minimise your financial losses.
  • Tell your kids - they most likely will have an inkling. There's nothing to be gained by delaying the news.
  • Chemical assistance - can help, don't expect instant results.
  • Counselling - can help, don't expect instant results.
Stop looking at the myriad problems that you perceive to exist. It only feeds your anxiety and angst. By all means write them down and scale them on their ability to harm your wellbeing. See if you can match some of them with the suggested solutions above and raise them with the professionals when you meet them.

Pain and hurt - no-one can put a time scale on on its duration. Your circumstances are unique to you. Things do get better, you need to remain convinced that this is so, even in your darkest moments.
 
classic33

classic33

Leg End Member
Broughtonblue said:
At the minute I can't think of a reason not to drink it
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You'll find one.
Why should the part that's inflicted this on you control how you are supposed to feel and what you do. Because that's what their doing now.

Mine would have been out of my hands entirely. Its on here if you want to read it. But as I said entirly different case.

My reasons for the drink.
They'd not be able to do what they wanted, if I touched it.
For the drugs.
They seldom operate on dead people.
 
vernon

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
Broughtonblue said:
At the minute I can't think of a reason not to drink it
Click to expand...

Try thinking of the hangover.
 
Saluki

Saluki

World class procrastinator
Location
...Norwich over the water.
Broughtonblue said:
It must be one from pound land or somewhere similar because I cant see it, certainly not a cateye or hope vision
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It might be a cateye but just round a couple of corners. The light is there, I promise.

The weather forecast, in your neck of the woods, is a balmy 7 - 8 degrees tomorrow with a cloudy start and sunny periods by the afternoon. Sounds like a good day for a bike ride. If you get plastered you won't be able to face a decent breakfast at the first cafe stop.
 
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