Divorce

[BrumJim]

Went into work with my sick note, they were fully understanding. Apparently it shouldn't affect the redundancy situation too much as the matrix being used in the selection process is retrospective, from the day the redundancies were mentioned.
Also said if I want to go in for a couple of hours or whatever, just to get out the house then I can.
Manager going to try and get occ health to sort me some councilling out pretty quick as doc said national health might take upto two weeks

Sounds positive. Just going to buy some Walkers crisps to congratulate them!

 

[Scoosh]

Went into work with my sick note, they were fully understanding. Apparently it shouldn't affect the redundancy situation too much as the matrix being used in the selection process is retrospective, from the day the redundancies were mentioned.
Also said if I want to go in for a couple of hours or whatever, just to get out the house then I can.
Manager going to try and get occ health to sort me some councilling out pretty quick as doc said national health might take upto two weeks

Best news I have read today !

See - You are not alone ! Not only is CC here to help, it sounds like your company is too ! YAY !


Boy Man - you've come a long way since I started reading this thread this morning !

Well Done and keep at it !

 

[vickster]

Manager going to try and get occ health to sort me some councilling out pretty quick as doc said national health might take upto two weeks

Do pursue that! 2 weeks would be highly unusual...I got a call from my GP surgery 4 months after referral and a month after I had finished the private sessions covered by my bupa policy!!

Regarding the sick note, if you are signed off as unfit to work, you really shouldn't go in without having it amended by the GP.
HR should be able to help on the legalities, but essentially my understanding is that if signed off, you would not be insured to be on the premises (I'm currently signed off following surgery but being hassled to work so I need to go to the GP for an amended note to cover me for part duties albeit from home)

Hope it all works out for you

 

[Freds Dad]

I got divorced over 15 years ago as my ex thought the grass was greener on the other side. She is now finding out that it isn't as she has been single for the past 5 years and struggles to keep a job down.

At the time of our split she had lots people in her ear telling her what she should do and what she was entitled to. The best money I spent was on a solicitor who fought my case and got me everything I wanted and a bit more. I know they can be costly but worth every penny to me.

Keep a diary of everything that happens, all relevant conversations you have with your wife and don't make any promises to her that she may bring up at a court case. She is not your enemy but she is not now on the same side as you. Look after number one and don't worry that your decisions may upset her.

Well done for seeing your GP and explaining it to work. People will want to help you and you can choose which help you accept.

 

[Silver Fox]

anybody been through a separation?
After 30 years my wife has left me, does the pain get easier? It's only been a week.

It's been ten years since my divorce, the pain does subside over the years but I doubt I'll ever forgive the bitch for what she put my children through.

 

[ChrisV]

I take my black dog cycling. He can't run as far as I can ride and slinks off somewhere else leaving me free to feel good. Depending on the ride, sometimes I can lose him for days at a time. In the summer I lose him altogether and it can take until Xmas until he finds his way back.

That was confusing! I have an actual black dog, and thought cool, I want to take mine cycling too. Then you say you lose him for days, and I thought 'that's a bit weird'. Poor boy, where does he get food/water etc. But summer to Xmas?!?!?

Then I realised it was a metaphor. Phew.

 

[Saluki]

That was confusing! I have an actual black dog, and thought cool, I want to take mine cycling too. Then you say you lose him for days, and I thought 'that's a bit weird'. Poor boy, where does he get food/water etc. But summer to Xmas?!?!?

Then I realised it was a metaphor. Phew.

We do have a real black dog, a living breathing one. A very lazy and comical Greyhound. He snores too.

 

[MarkF]

She is middle aged (?) without much money, yet keen to get it (your marriage) over with pronto, going clubbing and to the cinema. Join the dots...............please don't do things to wind her up, just split as amicably as possible, you'll have a better start in your next life that way.

 

[Arrowfoot]

[QUOTE 3540197, member: 9609"]think on - a court case 6 months time and a picture is presented of the turbo and your bike in the living room - wouldn't look good.[/QUOTE]

Thats not how it works. Conduct of either parties has little or no bearing when it comes to division of assets. Only plays a part if the conduct is particularly bad.

 

[MarkF]

Isn't it odd that Mrs Broughton Blue 'going clubbing and to the cinema' is seen as evidence of her heartlessness and makes her a 'wretched woman', whereas Mr Broughton Blue staying indoors is seen as symptomatic of his depression and he is advised to get out of the house? None of us except those two people knows the true detail of the build-up to this sad situation - and it is sad, for everyone concerned - which could have been happening stealthily for years.

I'd previously posted that it was good that she was being "honest", you misinterpreted my post, another one, and replied too quick, again.

There is nothing wrong with her going clubbing or to the cinema.

 

[Silver Fox]

I want us to split on good if not very good terms

That's a commendable attitude if both parties feel the same which appears not be the case. When I was going through my divorce I did the Mr Nice Guy thing and ended up being taken for a mug. Take it from someone who's been through what you're experiencing now, it's time to get selfish and look after number one or you'll get walked all over.

And to echo what others have said, stay off the booze. In the past I've got myself into some real states thinking the solutions to my problems were at the bottom of a bottle. They're not and only make matters worse. Antidepressants on the other hand worked wonders for me

It's not easy but stay strong fella, the dark times do get better.

 

[Sara_H]

That was confusing! I have an actual black dog, and thought cool, I want to take mine cycling too. Then you say you lose him for days, and I thought 'that's a bit weird'. Poor boy, where does he get food/water etc. But summer to Xmas?!?!?

Then I realised it was a metaphor. Phew.

I find the metaphor a bit strange too, I've got a brown dog, but wouldn't mind a black one! I generally like most dogs.

When I've suffered from depression in the past it has felt more like a black cloud than a dog. I used to walk to get away from my cloud.

 

[Saluki]

I find the metaphor a bit strange too, I've got a brown dog, but wouldn't mind a black one! I generally like most dogs.

When I've suffered from depression in the past it has felt more like a black cloud than a dog. I used to walk to get away from my cloud.

I used to think of my black dog as a black cloud. Like Winnie the Pooh story, when the black cloud followed him around. Then I read a book about Churchill (Winston, not the insurance dog)

 

[Sara_H]

I used to think of my black dog as a black cloud. Like Winnie the Pooh story, when the black cloud followed him around. Then I read a book about Churchill (Winston, not the insurance dog)

Yes, was it Churchill who made the black dog metaphor famous?

 

[Arjimlad]

I have read through this late after a busy weekend so most of what can be said has been said already. Glad that so many were there for you during the night.

I don't know what to say other than God bless, hang on in there, keep . Hunt out, list and choose the good things.