Do your own farts always smell nice?

[winjim]

Or to drop one in the lift, and then take the stairs...

That's wrong on so many levels.

 

[classic33]

Not got the time (yet) to read all posts but have always wondered this.

1. If I saved all my gas for a year then guffed - how much gas would I emit in one blow ?

2. If I could save all my gas for a year - ish, would I explode before the year is out ?

3. If we could harvest all our air biscuits, would it prevent the need for fracking or in fact be worse ?

4. Could I bottle it & sell it to daft Yanks ??

Life's great unanswered questions.

1) 430 cubic metres. Average person. From finding the research done.

2) I'd say strong possibility!
See 1 above.

3) Different gases.

4) Already been done. There's been cans of it on ebay. And a shop in Co. Kerry selling your bovine equivalent.

 

[MisterStan]

Pull my finger.

http://www.misternicehands.com/

I was away in Luxembourg a couple of weeks ago, when my 3 year old daughter asked her mother; 'When is Daddy coming home? I want to pull his finger.'

I'm so proud of her!

 

[talisman50082]

Hmm, perhaps you shouldnt have written that.

 

[vernon]

I've just heard on Radio Four's PM that the act of flight attendants farting while amongst passengers is called 'crop dusting'.

 

[captain nemo1701]

Ah, but now then. Why do the silent ones always smell more than the rip snorters.

I think it's true to say that on occasions, we've all let rip a paint-stripper that makes you feel revolted and oddly impressed at the same time. A previous employee used to drop SBD's in the site office

Meanwhile, here's an example of a frequently committed crime in our company vans (this is not us, just a funny vid from youtube)
CAUTION:Contains scenes of male flatulence and swearing:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxcNv-hfU0A

 

[Turbo Rider]

Ha, ha, that's hilarious! Reminds me of a time, many, many years ago when my best mate dropped one in the middle of our 6th form common room. There was a huge evacuation and when we came back in, after having a kick about, the place still stank of poopla! His gas was clinging to the walls like nothing I've witnessed either before or since. Good job really, because if he'd done it again, we'd have had to have had him put down. Happy days!

 

[captain nemo1701]

I've just heard on Radio Four's PM that the act of flight attendants farting while amongst passengers is called 'crop dusting'.

A stewardess friend of mine confessed to doing this but only in Economy class. I've always wondered what would happen if the bloke in front in a cycle race suddenly let a rotten one rip. Mind you, cycle shorts muffle the noise but also perform a 'sustained release' function for any aroma. Can be a bit embarassing in WH Smiths when one is browsing the cycling mags. I recommend walking up and around several aisles to lose the 'vapour trail'.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

I'm well known amongst my friends and family for my ability to create an odour that deserves a Government Heath Warning, unfortunately my recent encounter with a very unpleasant tummy upset has taken that up to another level, several times of late my Good Lady has suggested "I go outside and air myself" and has also suggested "I sleep in the spare room", Also she walked out of a shop whilst we were on holiday because I'd let one go, I wasn't far behind her, I don't blame her, when you can't stand the smell yourself things have got to be bad.

 

[vernon]

I'm well known amongst my friends and family for my ability to create an odour that deserves a Government Heath Warning, unfortunately my recent encounter with a very unpleasant tummy upset has taken that up to another level, several times of late my Good Lady has suggested "I go outside and air myself" and has also suggested "I sleep in the spare room", Also she walked out of a shop whilst we were on holiday because I'd let one go, I wasn't far behind her, I don't blame her, when you can't stand the smell yourself things have got to be bad.

My butler recommends that you consider purchasing a pair or two of Shreddies - flatulence filtering under crackers

 

[Matt1705]

Farts are like children, you're really fond of your own but dislike other people's.

 

[luckyfox]

Trust you @stephec !

(Thats all i'm saying)

 

[coco69]

I give up

 

[stephec]

Trust you @stephec !

(Thats all i'm saying)

So go on then, which way did you vote?

 

[luckyfox]

So go on then, which way did you vote?

I'm a girl, we don't do those sorts of vulagar entities!