Etiquette shown to guests in one's home

[Electric_Andy]

I'm in the drinks offering club. Usually as soon as they've taken their coats off. Food isn't offered as we don't have cake or biscuits in the house, but if i know they're coming I'll offer dinner or tea. I think food and drink is a basic need, so is eagerly offered in kind, and gratefully received by a guest.

 

[Stephenite]

No, I mean "I".

Loving it

 

[NickNick]

We've had two completely separate teams of Eastern Europeans at different times, one Hungarian and one Bulgarian, and in both cases they explicitly turned down all offers of refreshments, and indeed seemed to take no sustenance at all - or breaks for that matter. They turn up, work all day, then leave. Period.

I'll take as many cups of tea as offered by clients, but never food, don't usually have lunch when working, prefer to have big breakfast and big dinner and not waste time stopping for lunch. Some clients are verging on being upset and ask good half a dozen times if I'm sure I dont want anything for lunch.

 

[PaulSB]

So soaking a tea pot or cup with diluted bleach to get rid of brown stains isn't recommended then?

I wouldn’t recommend cleaning the teapot. We never clean the inside of our teapot. Slightly stained cups can be cleaned with vinegar but heavily stained or simply quicker is a paste made from bicarbonate of soda.

Wash thoroughly afterwards.

 

[PaulSB]

The only change I've noticed in hospitality in my lifetime is some people wanting to use the front door (culturally this is a very big no no in these parts).

Always the back door in our village. Chances are we won’t hear the front door. Friends just walk in. The only people who use the front door are some parcel deliveries and this is very unusual - I’m not sure why but most parcel guys automatically go to the back door.

Is it a Lancashire thing?

Most neighbours have keys to each other’s houses. It’s not unusual to come home and find a note saying “just popped in to borrow such and such.” I’ve known neighbours call at another neighbour’s house, borrow our key, borrow our stuff and then take key back!!

Anyway back to refreshment and this depends on the purpose of the visit. Someone popping round has a 50/50 chance - not sure why or what determines the offer. Anyone who has travelled from outside of the village is offered appropriate refreshment dependent on the time of day.

 

[Gary E]

I have a system that I make all of our guests fully aware of - on their first couple of visits they are given full guest status, this includes drinks, food and even a bed for the night or a lift home, they are generally 'fussed over'. After that (if they are invited back) they lose their guest status and attain friend/family status. At this point they are fully at liberty to help themselves to anything they can find in the fridge/cupboards and are expected to make themselves at home without waiting to be told to do so

 

[Beebo]

I always off a cup of tea. To anyone who comes around, friends, neighbours, when the people came to fit new radiators etc. If it's late afternoon or evening, I might offer a beer as an alternative.
I felt a bit awkward yesterday when a neighbour came round and I offered a cuppa. She said yes, but when I was getting the milk out of the fridge, she said "I'd rather have some of that wine in your fridge". I gave her some but she motioned for me to fill the glass right up. I was kind of saving it for later and told her this.
On her way out, she asked if she could 'take' - that's the word she used - that bottle of red in my cupboard Bit of a cheek. Told her it wasn't mine but BFs. She said that he wouldn't mind. I said that he bloody would. It's a very nice bottle of red and it's mine. Not much change from £40 for that and it's being saved for a special occasion. It's been in the cupboard a goodly while and it was a gift.
She was a bit frosty with me this morning.

Sounds like she has a drink problem.
What a rude lady.

 

[MontyVeda]

We must be more civilised in Lancaster than in Accy... i always offer a brew, and always get offered one in other people's houses. It's pretty much the first thing said after 'hello'.

 

[MikeG]

........Most neighbours have keys to each other’s houses. It’s not unusual to come home and find a note saying “just popped in to borrow such and such.”.......

There are a couple of houses in the village we used to live in which don't have back door locks. They're just on a latch, so even if they go on holiday people can just drop in. An unlockable house.......I've always wondered how insurance companies would deal with a burglary claim, albeit there has only been one "crime" in the village in living memory, and that turned out to be a bored neighbour taking a lawn-mower from next door to fix it.

 

[Julia9054]

We must be more civilised in Lancaster than in Accy... i always offer a brew, and always get offered one in other people's houses. It's pretty much the first thing said after 'hello'.

Same here. It's standard. Not sure i would know what to say to visitors if i didn't say "would you like a brew?"

 

[User482]

Bill Bryson on the subject of neighbours dropping in:

They do things differently in the Dales, you see. For one thing, people who know you come right in your house. Sometimes they knock once and shout 'Hullo!' before sticking their head in, but often they don't even do that. It's an unusual experience to be standing at the kitchen sink talking to yourself animatedly and doing lavish, raised-leg farts and then turning around to find a fresh pile of mail lying on the kitchen table. And I can't tell you the number of times I've had to dart into the pantry in my underpants at the sound of someone's approach and cowered breathless while they've shouted, 'Hullo! Hullo! Anyone t'home?' For a couple of minutes you can hear them clumping around in the kitchen, examining the messages on the fridge and holding the mail to the light. Then they come over to the pantry door and in a quiet voice they say, 'Just taking six eggs, Bill - all right?

 

[Salar]

I've never understood why people spend significant money getting a porch built, seems very odd imo to spend thousands on a tiny room to take your shoes off in!

Totally agree, these add ons spoil the look of a house.

I knocked ours down which the previous owners had built.

 

[petek]

Totally agree, these add ons spoil the look of a house.

I knocked ours down which the previous owners had built.

I dream of a having a large porch to keep dog leads, coats and boots in.

 

[swee'pea99]

Totally agree, these add ons spoil the look of a house.

I knocked ours down which the previous owners had built.

Surely that depends on 'the look of the house'. Didn't suit yours (in your view); doesn't necessarily mean they always 'spoil the look'.

 

[Saluki]

In your shoes I don't think I'd have explained it, as you did. When she asked for my bottle of wine I think I would have just laughed, and guided my "friend" gently to the door......."You MUST come again soon......"

I am going to start using the “would you like a cuppa before you go” line, a lot, with her.