When my father died his wife didn't tell me or my siblings until after he had been buried (in the back garden of their house). It was quite upsetting to find out that way, we didn't even know he had been ill.
Funerals (yours)
- Thread starter Dave 123
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When my father died his wife didn't tell me or my siblings until after he had been buried (in the back garden of their house). It was quite upsetting to find out that way, we didn't even know he had been ill.
When my uncle died a few years ago and my aunt, more recently, the funerals were happy affairs, celebrating their lives. Yes, there were tears, but on the whole everyone enjoyed themselves, especially catching up in the pub after.
There were more smiles at my aunt's funeral when people saw that her motor home was used as the hearse. The coffin had to be taken out through a side window.
Accy cyclist
Legendary Member
I started a thread last year in the Personal Matters section about a friend of mine who had terminal lung cancer. Sadly she died a few months later. I asked a friend of her's where her funeral service and wake were being held. That friend told me that she (the deceased) wasn't having a funeral nor a wake. I felt a bit peeved, not so much about the lack of a funeral as she was an atheist and I always find singing at funerals a bit awkward, but I would've liked a wake to kind of say goodbye and remember her at the same time. There was talk about buying a bench with a name plaque for the local park she walked her 3 dogs in, but I haven't heard anything since and I think she'll soon become a distant memory. I'll be able to remember her though as when we spent many hours in that park during the nothing allowed to open Covid lockdown I took quite a few photos of our group of 4, so at least I have that to remember her by.
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Yellow Fang
Legendary Member
My Irish aunt died last year. She was Church of Ireland, and she attended most Sundays. My uncle is Roman Catholic. A Catholic church was situated across the road from where they lived. She used to do quite a bit of work for them. When she died her service was at a Church of Ireland church, but she was buried in the Catholic church graveyard so she could be with her husband when his time comes.
Slick
Guru
Your example is maybe taking it to the extreme, but my dad received his terminal diagnosis but didn't tell anyone for 5 years.
The news finally came out when he was no longer strong enough to keep up the pretence, but I sometimes wonder if he ever would have told us if he could have avoided it.
There was some in the family who were upset he didn't tell them, but I totally got why he didn't.
Dave7
Legendary Member
I don't actually believe in "anything" after Death. There have been moments since Sue died that I wish I did belive in an afterlife but the fact is....I don't.
I have family members that feel different and tbh one of them spoke to a 'medium' who mentioned things she really should not/could not know.
So......yes, it would be nice to believe she is in a nice, happy place looking after me but I just don't believe it.
I have family members that feel different and tbh one of them spoke to a 'medium' who mentioned things she really should not/could not know.
So......yes, it would be nice to believe she is in a nice, happy place looking after me but I just don't believe it.
Chris S
Legendary Member
Somebody from a medical school was appealing for body donations on Radio 4 at the beginning of the year. They won't accept the body of somebody who has committed suicide though. They'll even return your loved ones ashes if you want them.
Bazzer
Setting the controls for the heart of the sun.
An uncle donated his body the science. His son and daughter were very proud and it seemed to help their grieving.
Last year when an aunt died, her daughters arranged for the crematorium first and a celebration of her life at her local church after the crem.
What Mrs B and I thought was a nice touch, was the coffin not disappearing behind a curtain at the crem. Instead attendees were invited to say their own goodbyes as they chose.
Last year when an aunt died, her daughters arranged for the crematorium first and a celebration of her life at her local church after the crem.
What Mrs B and I thought was a nice touch, was the coffin not disappearing behind a curtain at the crem. Instead attendees were invited to say their own goodbyes as they chose.
FishFright
More wheels than sense
Everyone involved already knows of my wishes and the reasons behind them.
To be honest I think the deceased wishes top whatever their friends and family want and it's up to us to accept that.
ianrauk
Tattooed Beat Messiah
I'm with you Dave.
My dear departed Mum was a spiritualist who believed all the after life crap, trying to contact my Dad after he died and all that. Quite upsetting to see.
It's just that, crap. Something for people to hold on to, and that's fair enough if that's their thing and gives some sort of comfort.
As far as I am concerned we will just be dust or worm food and that's it.
Dave7
Legendary Member
Similar for Sue with relatives/friends stepping up to lay a hand on the coffin. I could not do it....I wanted to but I was too upset. I held it together better than I expected but that would have destroyed me.
ianrauk
Tattooed Beat Messiah
Stop it Stu. I'll be there and probs a good few others too,
Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
I'd like a celebration of life, non religious. My Gran's was religious but it was very nice that all 4 grandkids stood up and told funny stories of what Gran did in her life. I'd like to think someone would do the same for me. It did help the survivors look back on the day with a smile. I don't want anyone to be pining over me and I often think a sombre send-off doesn't help matters one bit
