Give me some dialogue from your day

[Arch]

Some teenage girls were hanging around at the centre, asked for a drink of water. Then I overheard:

Girl: Excuse me?
Colleague: Yes?
Girl: I've got to get a bus to Hull in an hour but I haven't got any money. Can you give me some?
Colleague: Um..
Girl: (Clearly making it all up) Coz, I've got to go to my Grans funeral, and I asked my Mum but she won't give me any money.
Colleague: Sorry no.

I go out to start my cleaning.

Girl: Excuse me?
Me: Yes?
Girl: Can you give me some money?
Me: No, sorry. I'd give up if I were you,

Later, as they eventually leave:

Girl: You're nasty you are.
Me: Yes.
Girl: F*** Off!

The girl in question, for some reason, had a black cat nose and whiskers painted on her face. A perfect look for any funeral...

 

[subaqua]

wifey : Uhhm They are admitting me as they think I might have a clot on my lung hence the blue lips
Me Oh **** **** **** , right err am leaving work now and will be there ASAP.

thankfully she hasn't got clots but the blood markers are raised so we have headed something off at the pass.

 

[Scoosh]

Hope the news continues in a good vein, SA.

 

[Night Train]

wifey : Uhhm They are admitting me as they think I might have a clot on my lung hence the blue lips
Me Oh **** **** **** , right err am leaving work now and will be there ASAP.

thankfully she hasn't got clots but the blood markers are raised so we have headed something off at the pass.

That sounds scary!
I hope she gets well soon.

 

[Herr-B]

A&E - Saturday night.

Doctor - Do you drink a lot of coffee?
Me - Yes, but I usually only drink decaf.
Doctor - What about drugs? Do you smoke drugs?
Me - No, never.
Doctor - What about alcohol?
Me - Nope, never smoked alcohol either.
Doctor fortunately found it funny.

 

[gbb]

One of the forklift drivers has hit machinery again. Its shunted some steps a few inches, which have hit a machinery electrical box, shattering the cover, leaving electronics exposed.
Its not SO bad, it'll repair temporarily with some cable ties and tape, but he needs to be embarrassed, management don't seem to be bothered with the F/L drivers attitudes.

Line leader...'Can I run the machines ?'
Me................'No, there's electrics exposed, I need to make a repair'
'Will it take long, we've got a lot to do ?'
'Half an hour at least, ive got to get some stuff together from the workshops, make a repair...assuming nothing else is damaged'
'Oh '

So I walked over to the line main isolator, turned it off and walked to the workshops thinking...' you're not getting away with it that easy matey'

 

[subaqua]

One of the forklift drivers has hit machinery again. Its shunted some steps a few inches, which have hit a machinery electrical box, shattering the cover, leaving electronics exposed.
Its not SO bad, it'll repair temporarily with some cable ties and tape, but he needs to be embarrassed, management don't seem to be bothered with the F/L drivers attitudes.

Line leader...'Can I run the machines ?'
Me................'No, there's electrics exposed, I need to make a repair'
'Will it take long, we've got a lot to do ?'
'Half an hour at least, ive got to get some stuff together from the workshops, make a repair...assuming nothing else is damaged'
'Oh '

So I walked over to the line main isolator, turned it off and walked to the workshops thinking...' you're not getting away with it that easy matey'

thats what i have done several times to prove some points to people . it eventually gets the desired response.

 

[Herr-B]

Daughter (4 1/2) - The bees are dying, the farmers are getting rid of milk. It's a crazy world.

 

[Linford]

Part of this mornings phone conversation between myself and my customer

Me..the weather is finally warming up here in England. The forecast is 18c this coming sunday.

Customer (in Finspang). It was -15c this morning.....we are all fed up of the winter now in Sweden

 

[subaqua]

That sounds scary!
I hope she gets well soon.

it was for a few hours till she had been scanned etc . it was a double whammy of viral and bacterial infection in the lungs stopping decent gas transfer and the raised clotting levels meaning aspirin for a while till docs know whats going on.

 

[Scoosh]

Take good care of Mrs subaqua - and yourself and the family.



... can't be giving you excuses for not riding ...

 

[Arch]

G was filling in for a regular staff member today, and hence not as au fait with our system as we are:

G: So, these birthday cards, do they go in with paper or card?
<infinitesimal pause>
Me and other colleague, simultaneously: The clue's in the name...
G:

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Chatting with possible new tenant>

Me
..ok so that's it..any questions?

Him
..what are your thoughts on tarantula spiders?

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Just received a phone call from a survey team related to our bank... had them before so not concerned..

Lady: Can I speak to Mr..... or Mrs.....
Me: speaking
Lady: We wanted to ask you a couple of questions relating to your recent visit to the Bedminster branch?
Me: which branch?
Lady: Bedminster
Me: hang on (off to laptop...) Oh Bristol, no that's not me, it will be my husband
Lady: Can I speak to him please.
Me: Nope, he's in Bristol
pause:
Lady: do you know when he will be home?
Me: Nope - probably tomorrow, hopefully in the evening (thinking of growing pile of dishes in the sink - working on the wash every plate/cup/bowl/knofe/fork/spoon policy I employ when he is not around....), sorry.

On the bright side of things, I don't need to log in to the bank account to check my OH has paid in the cheque...

 

[ColinJ]

Chatting with possible new tenant>

Me
..ok so that's it..any questions?

Him
..what are your thoughts on tarantula spiders?

Reply: Brian Hanrahan's famous quote from the Falklands War - "I counted them all out and I counted them all back" - that should also apply to pet tarantulas!