Give me some dialogue from your day

[KneesUp]

Two women in a shop

Woman 1, showing her friend a mug with a unicorn design "Here, get her this, she'll love it
Woman 2 "Hmm. She's not really into unicorns anymore. She's in to goats now"
Woman 1 "Goats!?"

 

[Lullabelle]

Two women in a shop

Woman 1, showing her friend a mug with a unicorn design "Here, get her this, she'll love it
Woman 2 "Hmm. She's not really into unicorns anymore. She's in to goats now"
Woman 1 "Goats!?"

 

[Vantage]

Rang my bell to alert 2 ladies that I was coming up behind them.
With a wry smile, the one on the right asked what I'd do if they were both deaf.
Well, I just had too.
I gave their ears a light dusting with the airzound and laughed, "That!"
"Ya rascal!"

 

[Lullabelle]

This morning I walked into the office

Me: *sniff* can anyone else smell leaking fuel?
G: that would be me
Me: you're leaking fuel
S: not something else wrong with you
G: wouldn't be surprised
Me:

Apparently G had bought a sandwich from Subway, it had something spicy in it and a mustard sauce, it didn't smell right

 

[gbb]

Line leader is having problems with a checkweigher, it keeps rejecting good packs.
Me...
'Have you checked the weight limit settings ? ( he should know these, he has a specification sheet that clearly states what they are)

Him...
'I changed the settings to try to get it to work....but it's still rejecting'

Me..
'Did you use the proper test weights to set the program up ?'

Him...
'Yes'


Ok, let's start again and j will set it up with my limited experience.

So I check the settings, they're wrong. I correct them to meet the specs, it's quite easy.

'Have you got the test weight ?'
'Errr no'

So I'm thinking you did t use the proper method to set it up...and you didnt use the proper specs....this is your job, it should be second nature to you, you've been trained, theres a SOP for it. But whaddaya do, hes a nice fella, trying his best and like others, hes found an easier way of doing things, sometimes it works but once they start this, it becomes Ingrained in them...they (a surprisingly amount of machine operators) just wont change to the proper way of doing things. The list of things they do incorrectly is endless...whaddaya do

So I showed him, smiled and walked off, the checkweigher is running now.
And tomorrow, he will probably revert back to his way of doing it.

 

[Lullabelle]

Today is wages week, I run all the reports etc..to pass to my boss by lunchtime to sort out the payroll:

At 4.30:

S: erm I think I have finished the payroll.
Me:already? Mind you it is a straight month, no funnies
S: yes, but I am sure K said it usually takes about 3 days
Me: well, you can check it tomorrow just to be sure
S: just feel like I have forgotten something
Me: no I am sure it's fine.

Didn't want to say that K could make turning a page a long winded hoo ha.

 

[Lullabelle]

My colleague S was saying her chair has started to lower itself so she can now push her chair right under her desk:

Me: the good thing is that you have somewhere to rest your boobs

S: if I had any I would

 

[Biff600]

"I'm pregnant"

 

[gbb]

Me to my wife...
, 'I didnt expect that ?'
'Expect what ?'
'I was just reading the nutritional information on this packet of dates, apparently it contains dates, glucose syrup.....and may occasionally contain ......insects '

 

[annedonnelly]

Staff meeting is about to begin:

Boss: Is Dan coming along?
Colleague: No, he's busy hoovering a reindeer.


Note - no reindeer were hurt in the making of this post.

 

[iandg]

Phone estate agent about an advertised let

'Is the house on Edinburgh Rd, Dumfries still available for rent?'
'Sorry, confirmed an offer yesterday, do you want us to send details of others that are available? What area are you looking to rent in?'
'Yes please, within 20 minutes of Dumfries'
'We have some in Edinburgh'
'That's over an hour away'
' Oh, sorry didn't realise, I live in London'
'That's one of the reasons why I voted for independence'

 

[ColinJ]

If they had answered the phone it would have been this:

Friend: Hi Col.

CJ: Hi. PLEASE make me pancakes!

They didn't answer so it was a monologue instead:

CJ: Please Answer the phone so I can beg you to make me pancakes!



I'll have a go at making some in the next few days. I got a lovely big non-stick Tefal pan for my birthday and it should be ideal for pancake-making.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

They didn't answer so it was a monologue instead:

For next time, if you send send a whatsapp or similar "make me pancakes pls?+ " you will receive pancakes

 

[Katherine]

If they had answered the phone it would have been this:

Friend: Hi Col.

CJ: Hi. PLEASE make me pancakes!

They didn't answer so it was a monologue instead:

CJ: Please Answer the phone so I can beg you to make me pancakes!



I'll have a go at making some in the next few days. I got a lovely big non-stick Tefal pan for my birthday and it should be ideal for pancake-making.

Did you know that you can buy ready-made pancakes in the chilled desert section ? However, I think that you should be making your own....

 

[ColinJ]

Did you know that you can buy ready-made pancakes in the chilled desert section ? However, I think that you should be making your own....

Hmm, 25 minutes until the local Lidl shuts ...

I'll resist the temptation - I've just made a mug of tea.