Give me some dialogue from your day

[Lullabelle]

One of my colleagues, a friend, G, has had a lot of health issues lately, on Friday a conversation

S:, so G have you had gout?
G: no, that is 1 thing I haven't had
Me: there's still time
G: aye, don't I know it
Me:

 

[Andy_R]

One of my colleagues, a friend, G, has had a lot of health issues lately, on Friday a conversation

S:, so G have you had gout?
G: no, that is 1 thing I haven't had
Me: there's still time
G: aye, don't I know it
Me:

Don't joke about it, it's excruciating! I had heat related gout about 4 years ago in my big toe. Even just the bedsheet resting on the end of my toe at night made it hurt.

 

[Lullabelle]

Don't joke about it, it's excruciating! I had heat related gout about 4 years ago in my big toe. Even just the bedsheet resting on the end of my toe at night made it hurt.

Two years ago he had a heart attack, he has a problem which is affecting his internal organs, it also caused his tendon to snap as he stood up which caused him to land in such a way then he had to have surgery to return his kneecap to it's correct place and he is now hobbling on crutches, gout is the least of his worries

 

[Lullabelle]

Yesterday the boss was looking at the holiday planner as I walked past him

Me: morning M
M: morning L, oh there you are, I was just looking for you, though oh bugger she isn't in! Would you put the coffee on please
Me: sure

Apparently no one else can make coffee

Last year we were away for 3 weeks, my colleague made it and in the boss's words-it was like sludge.

 

[MrPie]

Managed to bag an internal job move to to somewhere a lot sunnier than here .
Received a note from the new office about my exact work location: office number is 3:14. aka mission impossible 2 (Job 3:14)....my mission should I choose to accept it, but also refers to Pi(e)

 

[bruce1530]

On the train this morning. Loud Lady behind me, telling her friend (and most of the carriage) about Jack and little Oliver. Apparently both Jack and little Oliver have been poorly. Jack hasn’t been eating properly, and little Oliver just wants to sleep all of the time. She’s very concerned about them, because normally Oliver is so bright and full of energy, but now he just sleeps.
This went on for about 5 minutes before we realised that Jack and little Oliver are rabbits.

 

[Biff600]

Me: Mind that ice Jack...........WHOOAAHHHH !!!

Jack: And he's down, count him ref !!!

 

[ColinJ]

Me, to woman in front of me in a checkout queue at Lidl: Is that your bottle of mouthwash left next to the conveyor belt?

Woman: Oh, yes - thanks!

I picked up the mouthwash and added it to her shopping on the belt.

[We progress towards the checkout ...]

Me, to the same woman in front of me, leaving the checkout queue at Lidl: Is that your bottle of milk left next to the conveyor belt?

Woman: Oh, yes - thanks!

[She picked it up and moved it nearer to her shopping bag as she packed it. I paid for my shopping and was packing my bag when I noticed that she came very close to forgetting the milk for a second time. She was about to set off without it, but noticed before I had to remind her again.]

 

[Lullabelle]

Earlier I was in Currys and was approached by a guy from Loros

Guy: hello there I am from Loros, have you heard of us?
Me:yes and I regularly donate
Guy: thank you but are you aware of our lottery?
Me: no thank you, I don't do any lotteries
Guy: oh, err ok thank you

 

[Lullabelle]

Only just spotted this one. Hilarious !

.. and yet horrifying and sad

It is no surprise some staff look dead behind the eyes

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Want me to do a fresh hot water bottle?
Yes please

Wife in bed not feeling very well.

 

[Profpointy]

It is no surprise some staff look dead behind the eyes

think I was trying to reply to a different post there - no idea what thought

 

[marinyork]

Local sainsbury's on a Sunday night.
security guard 1 gaffer: ... and you don't chase people around here, it's not the value of the gear, it's really rough. If you want to chase people a bit down the other side of town like Millhouses then knock yourself out.
security guard 2: yes, guv.
young newbie member of staff scanning some bread: do you want a receipt?
me: no, thank you.
young newbie member of staff: have a good evening (enthusiastically).
manager nearby all this lot oO(facepalm)
me oO(chuckle).

 

[KneesUp]

Local sainsbury's on a Sunday night.
security guard 1 gaffer: ... and you don't chase people around here, it's not the value of the gear, it's really rough. If you want to chase people a bit down the other side of town like Millhouses then knock yourself out.

Makes note to only nick stuff from local Sainsburys if the security guard looks slower than me.

 

[ColinJ]

Person standing in my kitchen, describing problems with his house: "... and when I looked, I found the draught was coming from a gap in the mastic round the window."

[Thus prompted, I realise that I feel a cold draught on the bald spot on my head. I look up ...]

ColinJ: "Aaargh - I can see daylight at the top of the door frame!"

Mastic Man will be round tomorrow with his sealant gun to make it airtight again.