Give me some dialogue from your day

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Crackle, 16 Dec 2011.

  1. ColinJ

    ColinJ It's a puzzle ...

    We lost our chance back in the 1970s - we went to adjacent grammar schools, but never met! :laugh:
  2. Supersuperleeds

    Supersuperleeds Guru

    Lad at work: "What stationary bike do you have?"

    Me: "I don't have one"

    LAW: "So what do you do when it rains?"

    Me: "I get wet"

    LAW "What? You go out when it is raining!"

    Me: "Well, yeah"
  3. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Midlands UK
    On my way home I nipped into the COOP to get some chocolate for my husband, I picked a packet of mini eggs
    The lady behind the counter said
    Lady: if you buy a tube you will get more for the same price
    Me: I didn't see any tubes
    Lady: if you walk down that isle you will see them
    Me:*scurries off down the isle* thank you
    Lady: that's ok, you may as well get your money's worth.
  4. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Midlands UK
    This morning the phone rang, it was the boss:

    B: good morning L, M here, can you please ask L to leave the training for a short while so I can talk to her?
    Me: you mean S?
    B: oh yes, you are L aren't you :laugh: yes S please
    Me: which one? :rolleyes:
    NorthernDave and gbb like this.
  5. oldwheels

    oldwheels Veteran

    At doctor surgery this morning. “ Good idea to put up a notice telling us you are shut every Wednesday afternoon as well as Saturday and Sunday and it is appointments only the rest of the time. The emergency phone numbers you give could be good but unfortunately non of them would work as every one is wrong due to wrong dialling code or missing digits and yes I still want to keep my current appointment”.
    ColinJ likes this.
  6. colly

    colly Re member eR

    We went to the theatre tonight and before the show started l was chatting to the woman next to me. (No not Mrs Colly)
    Talking about shows we had seen at The Grand.
    She was saying when her lad was small she took him to see a show with Bill Maynard in. ( Heartbeat etc)
    So they had box right next to and above the stage. At a quiet moment during the play her lad leaned over the balcony and said in quite a loud voice to Bill Maynard

    "What are you doing down there"

    Not missing a beat he looked up and said:

    "Do you know, I wonder that myself"

    Can just hear him saying that.^_^
    Maverick Goose, Katherine and ColinJ like this.
  7. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Midlands UK
    Yesterday's conversation with the production manager

    PM: how was the cheese club last night?
    ME: great fun as always
    PM: yes T was telling me it sells out every month, crazy isn't it? It's just cheese
    ME: well no actually it isn't just about cheese, it is also the social side of it, chatting with friends etc....
    PM: well yes I suppose.

    He still thinks it is ok to mock us for sitting around talking about cheese despite explaining to him the social side of things, cheese is the bonus. He spends his evenings sat in front of the telly.
    Maverick Goose likes this.
  8. skudupnorth

    skudupnorth Cycling Skoda lover

    Caller : Are you missing two goats from your school farm ?
    Me running down to our goat pen : No, all ours are accounted for
    Caller: We have two running around our garden, can you help ?
    Me: I will be down in 10 minutes

    I now have two African Pygmy goats extra on the farm, just a normal day at work in our High School :laugh::laugh::laugh:
  9. skudupnorth

    skudupnorth Cycling Skoda lover

    I guess a photo will help with my dialogue :laugh:
    Katherine, Slioch, TheDoctor and 5 others like this.
  10. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    A loading bay door and wall were hit by a lorry a few days ago, engineering (not me though) attended, I do know contractors are booked in to assess and quote for repairs.
    Area section leader approached me (we were not near the door at that moment..and asked me
    'Is there anything we can do to make that door safe ?'
    'Is it not safe then ? I will talk to my manager, see what was done and where we are....let's go have a look'

    I looked at it, it all seems safe enough, blocked off with pallets, nothing is going to happen short of a hurricane.

    'That's ok, I will get some hazard tape and put round the pallets, just for good measure '

    And he replies...
    'The engineers put hazard tape on it...i took it off because i needed some of the pallets...I've put them back now'

    So instead of going and getting some he took the easy / lazy solution and actually made the area potentially unsafe...then remarks that something needs to be done to make it safe :laugh:
    (I suppose we should be happy he did at least say)
    'Leave the pallets there bud and I will put some more haz tape round it...but don't take the pallets :okay:'

    Strewth :huh:...and that's a section leader
  11. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Midlands UK
    Sat at my desk this morning, the phone rang

    Me: Good morning........
    P: Hi baby
    Me: hello it's you
    P: it is, I am not ill, can you please tell S I want to use up a day holiday, John is at home this week and I want to spend a sunny day with him
    Me: sounds like a great idea
    P: you can come and join us if you like
    Me: where are you? I am on my way
    P: I am at home but keep covered up, this is a homosexual house :laugh:
    Me: no problem, get the kettle on :laugh:
    Maverick Goose likes this.
  12. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Midlands UK
    Sometimes common sense takes a day off :dry:
  13. pjd57

    pjd57 Über Member

    Cycling up West Nile Street in Glasgow city centre today.
    Brewery truck stops at the lights right over the ASL and almost up on the kerb ignoring the few metres of green paint.

    Next set of lights, over the ASL again, but in the right hand lane, so I stopped beside him and point down and say " you're over the line and in the bike box"

    Reply.... I stop at the line so c#@#s like you can't go in front of me....
  14. Katherine

    Katherine Guru Moderator

    How vile.
    Pat "5mph" and pjd57 like this.
  15. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Since our latest granddaughter (3) was born, it's become normal for them to come over for Sunday dinner and stay the afternoon. For some reason GD (3) has taken to feeding ME my pudding. She sits on my knee and spoon feeds me :laugh:...its hilarious.
    Shes a character as well so the dialogue goes like this...
    'Want some pudding (a kids yoghurt which was actually got out for her) grandad ?':thumbsup:
    'No thanks, you eat it'
    'No you eat it, my feed you' (her way of saying 'I feed you')
    'No you eat it':huh:
    'No, you eat it grandad' :angry:
    So she starts to spoon feed me...followed by the usual....
    'Nice :thumbsup:'
    'Want some more ?' :thumbsup: (like I get a choice :wacko:)
    'All finished ?':thumbsup:

    I turned to her mum a few weeks ago and said...'give it 10 years, she might be doing this for real :laugh:'

    Edited to add, today she actually said...
    'Here comes the aeroplane ' as she swung the spoon towards my mouth :laugh:
    Last edited: 31 Mar 2019
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