Got fired from my job today.

[Brains]

I used to be a human cannonball, but I got fired

 

[Fnaar]

I was a swimming pool attendant, but after they threw me in at the deep end, I found the job a bit shallow, so I threw the towel in.

 

[661-Pete]

....worked at the greengrocers. They gave me my card's, told me to collect my thing's and clear off.

(geddit?)

 

[Dayvo]

I used to live in a greenhouse but the landlord threw me as it seemed he didn't like me throwing stones.

 

[c2c]

i used to be a bin man but got fired cos they said i was a waster...!!!

sorry if thats bin done i just went straight to last post............

 

[Norm]

....worked at the greengrocers. They gave me my card's, told me to collect my thing's and clear off.

(geddit?)

I'd have to answer that one gingerly.

 

[661-Pete]

Off topic - did you know that the word "gingerly" has absolutely no etymological connection with the word "ginger"? 'tis true!

OK, back to the puns...

 

[CharlieB]

I failed a medical for a job with london underground trains because I had tunnel vision.

 

[slowmotion]

I'm a failed banker....but I still got a whopping bonus...

 

[postman]

40 years ago i got sacked from my saturday Butchers job .

I was caught with my finger in the bacon slicer .




She got sacked too !!!!!!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I used to be a forumite till I blew the last post(er)

 

[Dayvo]

I used to be a lighthouse keeper but packed it in as I didn't like working on and off.

 

[Aperitif]

I got the chop from the arborculturist - I was out on a limb from day one...

 

[Speicher]

I used to work as a wheel-tapper and shunter at a Steam Railway, but got side-tracked. My career hit the buffers.

 

[PBancroft]

I've not been fired, but found it rather difficult getting out of my parking space at work yesterday. Had to use my back-up plan.