Got fired from my job today.

[661-Pete]

Hmmm.... was a mountaineer once. But having reached the peak of my career, I found myself on the downward slide...

 

[Fnaar]

I was a referee once... took a few bribes... someone blew the whistle on me

 

[justAl]

i used to make cruthes for a living until demand went limp

 

[Fnaar]

I was a proofreader, but the tlod me to fcuk ffo

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I was a proofreader, but the tlod me to fcuk ffo

excellent!

 

[tyred]

Used to work for a barber but I had to leave after a close shave.

 

[tyred]

I used to work in a tyre centre fixing punctures but I felt so deflated that I left.

 

[tyred]

I used to be a typewriter mechanic but my career is in ribbons.

 

[trustysteed]

i used to belong to a firing squad until they got shot of me.

 

[tyred]

I used to work for Benson and Hedges but found it a drag.

 

[PaulB]

I was the lead stud in the porn business a few years ago but they blew me off.

 

[trustysteed]

i made a good fist of being a porn actress but they fired me for fannying around which i found a bit hard to swallow after i'd analised it.

 

[Paulus]

I used to be a childrens clothes designer, but I grew out of it.

 

[Cubist]

I used to help our Rabbi at circumcisions. They laid me off because of cutbacks, and he eventually slipped and got the sac

 

[Cubist]

I trained to be a tree surgeon, but used to faint at the sight of sap.