How far do you have to go before you are 'unfaithful'?

How far can you go with somebody else before you are unfaithful to your partner?

  • Kiss on cheek

    Votes: 9 45.0%
  • Kiss on lips

    Votes: 8 40.0%
  • Open, passionate kiss

    Votes: 1 5.0%
  • Intimate body contact

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Very intimate body contact

    Votes: 5 25.0%
  • The whole way

    Votes: 1 5.0%

  • Total voters
    20
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papercorn2000

Senior Member
I think you'll find that if you are male, there is only one!
 
OP
OP
spire

spire

To the point
Patrick Stevens said:
What Spire wants is an overwhelming vote that copping a bj from Tracey in accounts at the office party is in no way an act of unfaithfulness. He's hoping that this will convince Mrs. Spire. ;)

It's well-known that a BJ is not sex – ask Bill Clinton!

But whether or not it is an act of unfaithfulness is still open to debate!

:biggrin: :biggrin: :smile: :smile:
 
OP
OP
spire

spire

To the point
papercorn2000 said:
I think you'll find that if you are male, there is only one!

1. I agree that most men won't really consider they're having an affair unless it's been consumated.

But I think having an affair is a sub-set of being unfaithful. (Being unfaithful can be a one-off, having an affair is extended.)

2. Going all the way, to my mind, is unfaithful in almost all circumstances (I don't buy into this open relationship business).

Everything else is shades of grey.
 

gavintc

Guru
Location
Southsea
Kirstie said:
It's not the thinking about it it's the acting upon it. Unfaithfulness is where you create an alternative relationship - an alternative secret world with another person that you both enter into knowingly and reciprocally, even though one or both of you is already in a relationship. This can work on physical and emotional levels...which is why fantasy isn't being unfaithful...it doesn't involve acting upon your feelings ansd them being reciprocated.

I am with Kirstie on this one. Intent is more important than the deed. Once you have decided to cross this line, you have weakened your current relationship. I voted for the passionate kiss as passion implies desire and intent.
 

papercorn2000

Senior Member
Kirstie said:
i really hope that one day i wake up and 'find that i'm male' ... so i could go on a conscience-free sexual rampage - cos that's what you guys do all the time, right? ;)

Yeah, pretty much!:biggrin:

(And then I woke up and had my cornflakes!)
 

Tim Bennet.

Entirely Average Member
Location
S of Kendal
I except the rationale that you can be 'unfaithful' if you establish a 'non contact' relationship in which your feelings and concerns for the other person are more sincere and meaningful than those you have for your established partner. This situation is certainly recognisable from classic literature as well as the number of people who quickly marry their 'best friend' after bereavement. The lack of any physical contact in no way annulled the reality of where their heart really lay.

But if a sincere relationship without physical contact is to be considered 'unfaithful', then it's clearly the displacement of the 'emotional connection' that is key to this definition. Therefore is the inverse okay? Should an opportunist, totally insincere, knee trembler with Tracy behind the bike shed really be considered unfaithful?
 

Bigtallfatbloke

New Member
being honest I would find having an affair very difficult. I could never betray my wife life that, not after all we have been through together. Ok as a 'hot blooded ' male I would not be adverse to the attentions of fit hot women...(in my dreams)...but you know I bet if I ever got into a situation where siad 'attention' actually materialised I would probably walk away. I think it's ok to flirt a bit but that is as far as I could take it. After 28 years together, we have something called 'trust' and I see no benefit in undermining that trust....no ...not even for a 25 year old cheer leader...really!
 

Tetedelacourse

New Member
Location
Rosyth
I'm confused now.

Kirstie are you saying that if you're in love with someone other than your partner, but don't act on it, that that's not unfaithful? Or is it just fantasy?
 

GaryA

Subversive Sage
Location
High Shields
I would gauge it to be anything in which you would not be comfortable in allowing your partner to witness
This can be something such as non-contact e-mail flirting for example

If you can hand on heart say there is nothing you would hide from them and if they have total free access to everything you do/say/write/meet then you are doing Ok

I am ;)
 

Tetedelacourse

New Member
Location
Rosyth
Tim Bennet. said:
I except the rationale that you can be 'unfaithful' if you establish a 'non contact' relationship in which your feelings and concerns for the other person are more sincere and meaningful than those you have for your established partner. This situation is certainly recognisable from classic literature as well as the number of people who quickly marry their 'best friend' after bereavement. The lack of any physical contact in no way annulled the reality of where their heart really lay.

But if a sincere relationship without physical contact is to be considered 'unfaithful', then it's clearly the displacement of the 'emotional connection' that is key to this definition. Therefore is the inverse okay? Should an opportunist, totally insincere, knee trembler with Tracy behind the bike shed really be considered unfaithful?

Yes you see I think that physical contact without emotion is "less" unfaithful than a high degree of emotional involvement without the physical contact. I reckon both are acts of unfaithfulness but to a lesser or greater degree.

an example: compare months of flirting and explicit sexual exchanges by email with a lap dance. Which is unfaithful? Both? Neither? The lap dance?
 
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