I always beat myself up over tiny little mistakes.

heavens

Guest
I was cycling on a cycle path and I rang my bell to give a lady attention of my presence, then she turned around and said to me that bike's should be on the road. I pointed to a cycling sign and she told me that that was for down on another path, so I then cycled further a little more and I pointed to another sign that was clearly intended for the path I was on. At this moment she told me to "shut up" - to which I reminded her that she was the one who started the conversation with me in the first place - to which she had no reply.

I didn't curse or shout back because she had a little boy with her. I was really cautious during the conversation as I didn't want to scare or upset the poor little lad. I could tell he was a little shaken with his mother shouting at me. Also shouting or cursing back wouldn't make the situation any better anyway.

I just can't stop thinking about the incident. Even though she was in the wrong I still feel really bad. It happened at 8:00-ish and it's 5:19 and it's bothered me all day. It's not just incidents like this that bother me. Even when for example I indicate maybe a little too late when I should have rang my bell a little earlier - these incidents don't effect anyone else but they still bother me. I do my best to learn from them and to use them to my advantage but they still bother me a lot.

Can anyone else relate?

Thank you very much for your time.
 
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sidevalve

Über Member
Yes but it is because you like many people are not used to nor do you enjoy, confrontation or abuse no matter how minor. You behaved well she did not simply take comfort from this and move on. Sadly the world is full of stupid people on two wheels four wheels and on foot, you cannot help them all you can do is forget them.
 

summerdays

Cycling in the sun
Location
Bristol
I'm not saying I don't worry over some things, but on the whole I tend to see the funny side of a situation and often laugh at myself. Not sure how I'd see the funny/positive side of that situation but possibly at being correct after all? Or the fact that her final comment was "Shut up" since as you say she started it.

Why are you worrying over it, as it see it you haven't done anything wrong and you tried to be polite.
 
OP
heavens

heavens

Guest
I'm not saying I don't worry over some things, but on the whole I tend to see the funny side of a situation and often laugh at myself. Not sure how I'd see the funny/positive side of that situation but possibly at being correct after all? Or the fact that her final comment was "Shut up" since as you say she started it.

Why are you worrying over it, as it see it you haven't done anything wrong and you tried to be polite.
Thanks. I'm quite a sensitive person, not just in cycling but all together, I just pick up on these little things a lot, but I'm feeling much better now talking to people on here.
 
OP
heavens

heavens

Guest
@heavens. I'm a bit like you, some little tiny thing can unsettle me all day but by the next day, I'm over it.

You were totally in the right BTW. Woman was just a numpty in a skirt.
There have been moments when I've been in the wrong and those take a little longer, thanks man!
 
OP
heavens

heavens

Guest
I think you're not at all unusual. Most people go back over situations in their minds afterwards, especially if things have got a bit heated. This woman is probably doing the same as you, and might even be wondering if she could have handled it better. Maybe she was having a hard day with the little boy, or has had a close encounter with a bad-mannered cyclist in the past.
Cheers, It did really seem like she had a run in with a cyclist in the past when I spoke to her, I could kind of tell in a way.
 

young Ed

Veteran
no problem with the way you handled it, probably better than i would have :sad:
i find the ones that stick with me all day are the good drivers, such as a lovely lorry driver a while back that stopped on the busy A road to let me pull out and go the opposite way when he shouldn't have really but he was nice :smile: :thumbsup: this is probably due to the fact nice and really considerate drivers and few and far between :sad:

as for rude/unconsiderate pedestrians and road users i generally ignore them but if i do get irritated i occasionally resort to the finger or just telling them where to stick it! :sad:

There have been moments when I've been in the wrong and those take a little longer, thanks man!
sorry, but i almost certain Saluki is a lass? doubt she'll take much offence though :P
Cheers Ed
 

andyfraser

Über Member
Location
Bristol
I tend to dwell on these things too. I usually get over it by having a rant or laughing about it.

The cycle path thing happens to me a lot here. The easiest route to the shops for me is on the shared use path. There are plenty of markings on the path and signs including a very large on at the entrance to the underpass. And still someone will tell me I shouldn't be cycling on the path! I'm now used to just pointing at the signs and laughing about it.
 

Arrowfoot

Veteran
The horn and the bell seemed to upset a lot of people even if they are clearly in the wrong. I stopped using both unless it is an emergency. I somehow sense that some people consider it rude to use either. Either go around them or slow down for them to hear you approaching.
 
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