I always beat myself up over tiny little mistakes.

[spen666]

I was cycling on a cycle path and I rang my bell to give a lady attention of my presence, then she turned around and said to me that bike's should be on the road. I pointed to a cycling sign and she told me that that was for down on another path, so I then cycled further a little more and I pointed to another sign that was clearly intended for the path I was on. At this moment she told me to "shut up" - to which I reminded her that she was the one who started the conversation with me in the first place - to which she had no reply.

I didn't curse or shout back because she had a little boy with her. I was really cautious during the conversation as I didn't want to scare or upset the poor little lad. I could tell he was a little shaken with his mother shouting at me. Also shouting or cursing back wouldn't make the situation any better anyway.

I just can't stop thinking about the incident. Even though she was in the wrong I still feel really bad. It happened at 8:00-ish and it's 5:19 and it's bothered me all day. It's not just incidents like this that bother me. Even when for example I indicate maybe a little too late when I should have rang my bell a little earlier - these incidents don't effect anyone else but they still bother me. I do my best to learn from them and to use them to my advantage but they still bother me a lot.

Can anyone else relate?

Thank you very much for your time.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Instead post your views / thoughts on SCP section of this website and others will do it for you

 

[clid61]

Surely the OP is on a wind up ? Or is it just me ?

 

[summerdays]

Surely the OP is on a wind up ? Or is it just me ?

Why? Because it wouldn't be your reaction to the situation? We are all different and if it was my Brother in law, he wouldn't have minded at all, he's so thick skinned you have to be pretty blunt to make a point, whereas others read things into situations that aren't there, and every thing in between the two extremes!

 

[recumbentpanda]

No, some of us really are that sensitive.

I got a severe 'monstering' the other day from a person walking a dog on a shared use path. It had a nasty effect on my peace of mind, but I reflected that I also have noted that a lot of cyclists on that route are inconsiderate and sometimes downright bloody careless in their behaviour around pedestrians. As a recumbent rider out for a slow pootle I was 'low hanging fruit' and my single polite bell ting clearly triggered a lot of pent-up frustration from other encounters. At the same time I also got a strong feeling from her general manner that she suffered mental health issues ( as do I from time to time ), and looking back, all of that seems more relevant to how I feel now about the encounter than any sense of either injustice or that I might have been somehow in the wrong. I think it's easy to forget that not everybody we meet is necessarily on an even keel.

 

[clid61]

just seems wierd and the way its written! thats all

 

[clid61]

you delicate people want to get therapy or MTFU shoot happens deal with it !

 

[recumbentpanda]

Oh, sorry!

How about you Human Being the FU? :-)

 

[heavens]

you delicate people want to get therapy or MTFU shoot happens deal with it !

There might be people on this board that have suffered abuse, have mental health issues or have been in any other traumatic situation. Therapists go as far as saving lives for some people. There's absolutely nothing wrong with therapy and there's nothing funny about it either. It's not a good idea calling people in therapy "delicate" - this may offend some people.

People in therapy need help, not useless information such as people telling them to "man up".

 

[clid61]

Sorry if I touched raw nerves , but there are far too many people these days playing the victim card , if that's not you I apologise, if it is MTFU

 

[summerdays]

And maybe not enough considering other peoples feelings?

 

[J.Primus]

Sorry if I touched raw nerves , but there are far too many people these days playing the victim card , if that's not you I apologise, if it is MTFU

You're so cool and edgy.

 

[steveindenmark]

Its not your fault she had no idea what she was talking about.

 

[heavens]

I saw her again today. It was a bit awkward and I was nervous being around her, luckily there was another cyclist in-front of me so it wasn't too bad. I'm going to leave my house a little later so that hopefully I avoid running into her. Upon looking at her, I'm not trying to be rude but she doesn't look like the friendliest person on earth. The best thing to do is give her a wide-birth, but also if I see her I might just hang back a little bit as well.

Thanks to everyone for this thread - I made it because I knew it would help release some bottled up thoughts from not only me but all of you too! Cheers!

 

[Maylian]

I've also been told of for cycling in a pedestrian area, which clearly wasn't, whilst walking my bike. I was a little less patient and pointed to the policeman and suggested we check which got a negative reaction.

I tend to over think also on situations where I have made mistakes that may reflect badly on cyclists in general. I find it tends to help in future scenarios and certainly makes me less aggressive in minor incidents.

 

[Arrowfoot]

I guess Increasingly numbers of cyclists on shared paths must have an impact on folks that have been on these path for many decades. And many of them have no idea that cyclist have a right to use them. That should not deter our use of the path but expect these little confrontations to occur.