I always beat myself up over tiny little mistakes.

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mustang1

Guru
Location
London, UK
I was cycling on a cycle path and I rang my bell to give a lady attention of my presence, then she turned around and said to me that bike's should be on the road. I pointed to a cycling sign and she told me that that was for down on another path, so I then cycled further a little more and I pointed to another sign that was clearly intended for the path I was on. At this moment she told me to "shut up" - to which I reminded her that she was the one who started the conversation with me in the first place - to which she had no reply.

I didn't curse or shout back because she had a little boy with her. I was really cautious during the conversation as I didn't want to scare or upset the poor little lad. I could tell he was a little shaken with his mother shouting at me. Also shouting or cursing back wouldn't make the situation any better anyway.

I just can't stop thinking about the incident. Even though she was in the wrong I still feel really bad. It happened at 8:00-ish and it's 5:19 and it's bothered me all day. It's not just incidents like this that bother me. Even when for example I indicate maybe a little too late when I should of rang my bell a little earlier - these incidents don't effect anyone else but they still bother me. I do my best to learn from them and to use them to my advantage but they still bother me a lot.

Can anyone else relate?

Thank you very much for your time.
What really bothers me is your use of the word "of".
But being a little more constructive :biggrin: I think you handled then situation brilliantly. Didn't get angry, didn't shout, no obscenities, took regard to the little boys presence, made the woman shut up.
 
OP
OP
heavens

heavens

Guest
What really bothers me is your use of the word "of".
But being a little more constructive :biggrin: I think you handled then situation brilliantly. Didn't get angry, didn't shout, no obscenities, took regard to the little boys presence, made the woman shut up.

*I should have rang. Thanks! ;)
 
OP
OP
heavens

heavens

Guest
Hi there I wasn't expecting you to respond to my menial remark! Who am I to stop the evolution of the English language? Sometime in the future a kid will tell me I don't know how to speak English. :smile:
Anyway, you feeling better now? I think these irksome things happen to all of us.

Thanks so much for asking, I'm feeling much better! I knew that talking on here would make it better and not only that but it would get others on here too talking about their experience!
 

DaveReading

Don't suffer fools gladly (must try harder!)
Location
Reading, obvs
Get a traditional ring ring or ding dong if you can (can't get them easily for oversize or aero bars?) because people seem to recognise them more easily and seem less scared by it.

I had problems finding one for my 31.8mm bars and ended up ordering one of these:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00ELNGSVM/ref=od_aui_detailpages00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Jut under a tenner including shipping from the US, very pleased with it, lovely clear sound that alerts pedestrians without alarming them (lot of shared use pathways around here).
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
I'm hard assed and things like that can annoy even me for a while. It says more about you and the honorable way you handled it. Give yourself a wee pat on the back and forget about it. She has more to be sorry about. :thumbsup:



My sentiments exactly. I get very unsettled by even minor confrontation, even if I know I'm entirely in the right. You behaved properly. That's all that can be asked of anyone. But it still upsets - and that's also because you are a gentleman / lady as the case may be.
 

Saluki

World class procrastinator
If there are peds on the cyclepath I often all out "ding ding, passing on your right" (or left, which ever is appropriate). It gives the heads up to the pedestrians, unless of course they have big headphones on and look like cybermen. Then I call out "DING DING, PASSING"
 

Tynan

Veteran
Location
e4
not forgetting of course that you always give priority to pedestrians wherever they are wandering, most especially if you're comning up behind them, a moving bike is much more alarming to a pedestrian that a rider imagines it would be
 

mjr

Comfy armchair to one person & a plank to the next
Yes, give priority, which does mean that you've either got to negotiate passage with them which means making them aware of your presence somehow and a gentle bell on approach is nicer than most ways IMO - or you'll be travelling at walking speed until they feel shocked and guilty for not noticing you sooner which doesn't really please many people.

When I say "Go around if there's space", I mean enough space for them to change direction abruptly and/or fall over and you still won't collide, not merely a wide enough gap to fit through. If someone stepped out and there was a collision, it'd probably still be the riders' fault - but it sounds like @heavens had left enough margin and the complaint was mainly the mother being surprised.
 

ayceejay

Guru
Location
Rural Quebec
You being a sensitive person were concerned for the child, she being a mother was concerned for the child. Same concern different approach. There is a strong possibility that she is feeling the same as you about the incident but the end result was that the boy was not hurt so you both got what you wanted and the only thing damaged is ego. let it go.
 
OP
OP
heavens

heavens

Guest
Yes, give priority, which does mean that you've either got to negotiate passage with them which means making them aware of your presence somehow and a gentle bell on approach is nicer than most ways IMO - or you'll be travelling at walking speed until they feel shocked and guilty for not noticing you sooner which doesn't really please many people.

When I say "Go around if there's space", I mean enough space for them to change direction abruptly and/or fall over and you still won't collide, not merely a wide enough gap to fit through. If someone stepped out and there was a collision, it'd probably still be the riders' fault - but it sounds like @heavens had left enough margin and the complaint was mainly the mother being surprised.

I've been using the exact same route for five years. I've only fallen off once and that was when I accidentally hit a curb. I've only had two confrontations, which are the two I've mentioned above. I try my damned hardest to be as good as possible but I think no matter how hard we try there are still going to be incidents.
 
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