wafflycat
New Member
- Location
- middle of Norfolk
Here you go, sweetie
I have run out of expleatives...
- Thread starter Bigtallfatbloke
- Start date
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twentysix by twentyfive
Clinging on tightly
- Location
- Over the Hill
Awww I enjoyed that
OP
OP
Bigtallfatbloke
New Member
All good suggestions...I'm going to try a few out.
...well..since you ask.
I was moving into the primary position approaching my right turn off a busy road and had signalled correctly. The right hand filter lane was about 30m infront of me so the asswipe behind me actually had to slow down, which pissed him off and he started leaning on his horn to tell me to get out of his way. I ignored him and headed up to the filter lane...he hooted again and yelled out the window words to the effect that I was enjoying playing with myself...I waved at him in a gesture to tell him he wasnt worth it and should just go away and calm down...at which point he hooted again so i turned around and yelled at him to F%ck orf...at which point I realised it wasnt the usual chavy oiks but an old geezer (70ish) with his wife who was also yelling at me...something about not speaking to her asswipe,,,erm,,,sorry I mean husband like that! ...I had r4eached the filterlane as was slowing right down to make the turn when this bastard deliberatly pulled over to his right in what i can only interpret as an attempt to kill me as he missed me by inches. It was a no win situation junction for any cyclist...move over to early and the self-gratification artists think you are blocking 'their right of way', move over to late and you get knocked off. I can only imagine that this git was blind and hadnt worked out that my legs dont actually have 2.0 litre engine in them
What pissed me off was that people like him place no value on my life, or my sons fathers life at all. To him it was simply an affront on his pride that a mere (turns and spits) 'cyclist was actually in front of him slowing his progress to his scummy hovel.
He sped off down the road like the coward he is...no doubt to visit his cowardly chavy grand kids somewhere...no wonder kids grow up like they do around here when there are losers like him out there.
...well..since you ask.
I was moving into the primary position approaching my right turn off a busy road and had signalled correctly. The right hand filter lane was about 30m infront of me so the asswipe behind me actually had to slow down, which pissed him off and he started leaning on his horn to tell me to get out of his way. I ignored him and headed up to the filter lane...he hooted again and yelled out the window words to the effect that I was enjoying playing with myself...I waved at him in a gesture to tell him he wasnt worth it and should just go away and calm down...at which point he hooted again so i turned around and yelled at him to F%ck orf...at which point I realised it wasnt the usual chavy oiks but an old geezer (70ish) with his wife who was also yelling at me...something about not speaking to her asswipe,,,erm,,,sorry I mean husband like that! ...I had r4eached the filterlane as was slowing right down to make the turn when this bastard deliberatly pulled over to his right in what i can only interpret as an attempt to kill me as he missed me by inches. It was a no win situation junction for any cyclist...move over to early and the self-gratification artists think you are blocking 'their right of way', move over to late and you get knocked off. I can only imagine that this git was blind and hadnt worked out that my legs dont actually have 2.0 litre engine in them
What pissed me off was that people like him place no value on my life, or my sons fathers life at all. To him it was simply an affront on his pride that a mere (turns and spits) 'cyclist was actually in front of him slowing his progress to his scummy hovel.
He sped off down the road like the coward he is...no doubt to visit his cowardly chavy grand kids somewhere...no wonder kids grow up like they do around here when there are losers like him out there.
Dayvo
just passin' through
- Location
- 59° 50′ 5.55″ N, 10° 47′ 41.89″ E
I like the old 'w@nker' hand sign.
No one here knows what it means, but they suspect it's not very nice.
How happy I am to explain to them!
No one here knows what it means, but they suspect it's not very nice.
How happy I am to explain to them!
WindyRob
Veteran
- Location
- On the doorstep to the Southdowns
User76 said:In my opinion you only need the one abusive word. It begins with C and rhymes with punt. Shuts people up a treat
reminds me of an old school mate who got a lift from a nice lady in an open top car and in the traffic upset a lorry driver. at the lights the lorry pulled up a long side the car and the driver leaned out of his window and made the following enquiry:
"Oi mate was you born a C**t or was it something you had to learn?"
i nearly got the chance to use the line today on the way back from a most excellent ride to Old Winchester Hill. A white Polo almost knocked me off as it went past me about 150 yrds from a roundabout. just beyond the roundabout i knew that there were some road works with lights so put the hammer down (of sorts
) and managed to catch the car up as i pulled up along side it the driver was an elderly white haired lady, thought it wouldn't be the most appropriate phrase to use on her 
Windy
dangerousjules
Veteran
i still favour no words but the highly recommended rape alarm through the open window trick...****s with them no end, all that faffing about in the cage trying to stop the noise, work out what it is, then the reminder of why somebody who's life they just endangered would throw such a thing at them...priceless!
U
User482
Guest
I find that pulling up alongside, and then shaking your head at them works a treat. They don't know how to respond - you've made your displeasure with their driving clear yet have remained calm and unaggressive. Gives you the upper hand.
Although recently I was over taken whilst clearly signalling right. I waved at the driver as she sped off - she waved back! As I now had her attention I gave her a single digit response. Quite satisfying.
My girlfriend came up with a great putdown. She filtered up the inside of a stationary queue of traffic, and as she stopped, the driver at the head of the queue wound down his window and said "there's a f*ckin queue back there". To which she replied "So you want me to make the queue even longer so you're even later for work? Or shall I ride up the pavement and knock a couple of grannies over instead?". He had no comeback from that.
Although recently I was over taken whilst clearly signalling right. I waved at the driver as she sped off - she waved back! As I now had her attention I gave her a single digit response. Quite satisfying.
My girlfriend came up with a great putdown. She filtered up the inside of a stationary queue of traffic, and as she stopped, the driver at the head of the queue wound down his window and said "there's a f*ckin queue back there". To which she replied "So you want me to make the queue even longer so you're even later for work? Or shall I ride up the pavement and knock a couple of grannies over instead?". He had no comeback from that.
