In my professional opinion...

[Deleted member 1258]

If decorating a room for the first time stripping the wallpaper off is almost guaranteed to reveal something nasty, I've got a plasterer working in the front of our through lounge as I type.

 

[Alan Frame]

Never trust a salesman. Professional liars, all of 'em.

Apologies to any salesmen on here, of course. I'm sure you are the exception.

 

[Sara_H]

Don't give honey to babies under one year old.

Pregnant ladies should DEFINITELY have the swine flu vaccine when advised to.

Remove blind/dressing gown cords from rooms where children will be left unattended.

Don't leave young children unattended in the bath/garden pond.

Always wash salad before you eat it. Make sure all meat it properly cooked.

Don't go in cars.

Don't climb onto roofs.

Be careful.

Sorry, I work in ICU, my list isn't very cheerful!

 

[Gixxerman]

Words should weighed and not counted.

 

[Archie_tect]

Never start watching a video of someone apparently doing something unremarkable and boring, because it's either:

a) going to be stultifyingly boring or,
b) they are going to get badly hurt or injured within seconds and you'll regret watching it.

 

[hopless500]

1. If you are in the process of taking those huge hitching breaths prior to sneezing, and have reached for a tissue out of the box, check that there isn't a cranefly on the tissue.

2. Cranefly are unlikely to remain in one piece whilst being expelled by a mixture of coughing, choking and the sort of sneeze you fetch up all the way from the soles of your boots.

3. Wives are occasionally unsympathetic to choking partners whilst being sprayed by small segments of cranefly legs wings and body.

Opinions may vary.

 

[EltonFrog]

Never watch Helmet Cam Videos. They will piss you off one way or another.

 

[Longshot]

Arguments over the contents of a contract should be done before it is signed.

 

[green1]

Arguments over the contents of a contract should be done before it is signed.

Yeah right, then what would the lawyers do?

 

[swansonj]

Don't climb onto roofs

Especially when it is windy, you've had a glass or two, and there's a banner that needs getting down.

 

[Sara_H]

Especially when it is windy, you've had a glass or two, and there's a banner that needs getting down.

Especially, in those circumstances. That would be the wrong thing to do, in my professional opinion!

 

[Tim Hall]

Especially when it is windy, you've had a glass or two, and there's a banner that needs getting down.

Even more so when the other party has form. You think Jethro's death was an accident? No witnesses, chainsaw, oak tree. You decide.

 

[swee'pea99]

If you waste enough time on internet forums, eventually you will learn something. (After 30 years earning my living generating words, I finally know what 'gerund' means! Thanks Fnaar!)

 

[Cubist]

The Yew tree is widely known to be toxic, the arils that surround the seeds however are delicious and taste slightly like strawberry. the seeds must NOT be eaten.

.

The reason why you find Yew trees in many English graveyards or churchyards is due to its toxicity. Yew was an important crop as it was used for bow making, but prior to enclosure the only places fenced off or walled off were churchyards, so Yew trees were grown there to stop livestock eating it.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Never watch Helmet Cam Videos. They will **** you off one way or another.

This is why I rarely venture into the Commuting part of the forum, it just utterly, utterly depresses me!

Especially when it is windy, you've had a glass or two, and there's a banner that needs getting down.

Not quite the same, but after a night in the Pub once, I decided to try and climb up a narrow, sloping bridge parapet with a sheer drop back to street level on one side and onto an unused railway bridge. Several feet up, I came to my senses and climbed back down again. I hate to think if I'd fallen off as, well, it was higher than a double decker bus!