Most unusual thing you've collided with whilst cycling

[TheDoctor]

Carrier bag which then went into the rear mech. The back wheel locked, the mech hanger sheared off and I did a swift 180 at 12 mph as the back tyre exploded. That was fun.
Cycling in Portugal, I ran over a dried cod. Nothing untoward happened.
And cycling back from a beer festival in a state of extreme refreshment, my mate almost collided with an ambulance...

 

[ColinJ]

I know someone who was riding along the Rochdale canal towpath when he went under a low bridge and forgot to duck! He headbutted the bridge and ended up in the canal, along with his bike ...

 

[The Don]

A couple of lamp posts for me.

Not at the same time though!

 

[Gravity Aided]

A little multi-tool , and some other thingus I have yet to figure the application of. Like a giant ratcheting wrench. Oh, and a CD of works by John Baptiste Lully, at another spot. I seem to run over useful stuff, except for the giant ratchet thingy, which may be useful once I can divine the purpose of it.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Numerous things as a kid, including a gate, various assorted bits of street furniture, other cyclists etc etc, and a few years ago as an adult, a fallen tree whilst cycling along a dark cycle path at night..... without any lights....... in a blizzard (so actually the lights wouldn't have helped anyway).

Not very exciting, I know, although I did land in a ditch once!

 

[RWright]

A blind man .

For some unknown sick reason that made me laugh.

 

[stevede]

When I was around 7 or 8, we lived in a pub in Chorlton. My playground for my bike was the large L shaped car park. I came round the corner and collided with an E Type Jag. (back then E Types would have been a lot less desirable than now - seen as big, old & expensive to fix).

My handle bars went straight through the very rusty front wing leaving a rather large hole. I recall he tried to get the cost of a new front end off my dad, but ended up with a fiver for some fibreglass & body filler.

 

[Bryony]

My step daughter!! We were riding on the Tarmac cycle track at our local country park and she was getting a little over confident and cocky on her bike she lost control, veered into me (I managed to stay upright) then veered off in the other direction then came back towards me then fell off right in front of me I had no time to react and ran over her fingers!! I felt terrible I thought I'd broken them but luckily she was fine!! And for some weird reason she didn't want to go back to her mum's that day so stayed an extra night with me and her dad!! I thought she'd want to steer clear or me after that

 

[Ron-da-Valli]

A sheep on the Isle Of Skye during a tour of Scotland in the late 80's. I was on the drops descending along a minor road to Portree when a sheep decided to get up and cross the road in front of me. It headbutted the back of my hand and bounce off into a ditch. I think the sheep was more shocked than me!!

 

[Whiskey88]

Not sure if this counts, but my own shoelace.

I was about 10-12 years old, my shoelace got caught in the front cogs between the chain and the cogs themselves and somehow flipped me over the handlebars so I landed head-first onto the tarmac.

Thinking about it, this one incident explains a lot about me...

 

[tmesis]

I've also collided with a pheasant. I came round a downhill bend at speed an saw it sat on the road directly in my path. It flew up through the handlebars, and smack into my chest, and then off. First reaction was shock, and then disgust as I realised the little blighter had emptied it's bowels all over me...

I also, embarrassingly, once crashed into my garage door in a "seriously misjudged when to start braking" incident.

 

[ColinJ]

I've also collided with a pheasant. I came round a downhill bend at speed an saw it sat on the road directly in my path. It flew up through the handlebars, and smack into my chest, and then off. First reaction was shock, and then disgust as I realised the little blighter had emptied it's bowels all over me...

Sounds like a most unpheasant experience!

 

[delb0y]

A badger. He burst out of the hedge and we collided and then lay on the ground looking at each other. They're quite big. This was, of course, before they shot them all.

 

[berty bassett]

today - the back of a 7.5 tonne lorry parked up - not a mark on me or lorry or bike but boy what a dent in my ego

 

[mysticmeg]

On a fully laden tourer a herring gull goes budump budump