Moustache Problem

[dellzeqq]

a friend has grown a moustache.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Moustaches can grow on a chap. Clark Gable, Alan Whicker, David Niven all fine and dandy. I think that the key is cheekbones. They had cheekbones. My friend does not have cheekbones. Not at all.

He says it makes him look younger. He's not entirely young. He looks like a 45 year-old trying to pass himself of as a sixteen year old.

My first instinct (mercifully unvoiced) was 'WTF is that? No - don't answer. Get rid. Now.' This would have been wrong. My friend is very, very conscious of his appearance, and he takes great trouble with it. He would have been upset.

So........your suggestions please. What do I say?

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

"There's a slug on your upper lip"

 

[meenaghman]

what sort is it ? the village people 80's style by any chance ?
Or is he going to go for the goatee, of tache and soul patch.. Sideburns and mutton chops ?
So many sh*t styles to chose from. pencil, walrus, mexican..toothbrush..

 

[Fnaar]

Give him a fiver, chuckle, lightly punch him on the arm and say "ah, that's great... the things people do for Comic Relief".

 

[frank9755]

Holding him down and shaving it off wouldn't be the answer.

You need to understand the underlying causes which have led him to grow it. A chap doesn't just grow a moustache for the hell of it. There must be something else going on in his life, something that is troubling and unsettling him. The moustache is a physical symptom of this underlying mental distress, a cry for help!

So, you need to find out what is behind it, and help him to solve that problem. Then he will shave it off of his own free will.

Edit - just thought of this: It's not about the moustache!

 

[Silver Fox]

a friend has grown a moustache.

Now, don't get me wrong here. Moustaches can grow on a chap. Clark Gable, Alan Whicker, David Niven all fine and dandy. I think that the key is cheekbones. They had cheekbones. My friend does not have cheekbones. Not at all.

He says it makes him look younger. He's not entirely young. He looks like a 45 year-old trying to pass himself of as a sixteen year old.

My first instinct (mercifully unvoiced) was 'WTF is that? No - don't answer. Get rid. Now.' This would have been wrong. My friend is very, very conscious of his appearance, and he takes great trouble with it. He would have been upset.

So........your suggestions please. What do I say?

"An eyebrow appears to have dropped down for a drink, shave that bloody thing off."

 

[Kestevan]

a friend has grown a moustache.

No... friends never grow moustaches. At best an "acquaintance" may have a moustache, but never a friend.

I'm afraid it's simple, you must immediately sever all but the briefest social contacts, and resign your "friend" to a life as a social paria.

Harsh but fair.

 

[Smokin Joe]

A man without a moustache is only half a man. There are many different styles to suit facial structure, wing commander, Zapata, upper class cad, Charlie Chaplin (not advisable unless you want to invade Poland), etc.

You should help your friend in choosing the right one for him, then consider growing one of your own.

Some suggestions here -

http://www.mohammadi.ca/?itemid=388

 

[Aperitif]

Dump him and go back to the missus.

 

[Baggy]

Get all your friends together and pretend that it's someone's stag night, spike his drink and then shave it off. Maybe shave his eyebrows, too, to make it seem more authentic.

 

[dellzeqq]

it's a Clark Gable moustache. Not the worst kind - those of you with a nervous disposition should not click the link provided by Smokin' Joe - but it isn't him. If you have a round face you have a round face. Make the most of it by smiling a lot - not by thinking that a moustache will somehow give you cheekbones.

 

[david1701]

it's a Clark Gable moustache. Not the worst kind - those of you with a nervous disposition should not click the link provided by Smokin' Joe - but it isn't him. If you have a round face you have a round face. Make the most of it by smiling a lot - not by thinking that a moustache will somehow give you cheekbones.

or having a beard which is heavier on the bottom than the sides making the face look longer

 

[dellzeqq]

hmmmm....

 

[DTD]

hmmmm....

Your friend's versatile Bond villain Michael Lonsdale? Respect.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

hmmmm....

A touch of the Roger Delgado's without the panache with a hint of menace (and badger stripes!)