Myths and Rebuttals

[Shut Up Legs]

Myth: "You should be in the cycle lane!"

Rebuttal: No, its your choice as to whether or not to use a cycle lane. If it is safer and convenient then do so, otherwise you're not obliged to use the cycle lane or any other facility.

There was a bit of a scare a while back when the highway code was updated, but the current text says:

"Cycle Routes and Other Facilities. Use cycle routes, advanced stop lines, cycle boxes and toucan crossings unless at the time it is unsafe to do so. Use of these facilities is not compulsory and will depend on your experience and skills, but they can make your journey safer."

In fact, many cycle lanes are poorly designed, ill maintained, badly thought out and, on occasion, completely un-navigable. It is entirely appropriate to choose not to use such facilities.

Agree with your comments on cycle lanes; they're generally a dumping ground for detritus of all description

Interestingly enough, the Victorian Road Rules make use of cycle lanes compulsory, but also add the safety caveat, so we can choose whether or not it's appropriate to use them (not that it stops some f'wit motorists yelling at me when I avoid unsafe cycle lanes, but unfortunately idiots form part of every population demographic). The Victorian Road Rules state:

The rider of a bicycle riding on a length of road with a bicycle lane designed for bicycles travelling in the same direction as the rider must ride in the bicycle lane unless it is impracticable to do so.

 

[Armegatron]

Guy gave me abuse of road tax etc... I made my valid points that I pay road tax and have insurance. He then called me a knob - my reply "At least my knob is bigger than yours, and your wife loves it"

 

[400bhp]

I pay two lots of road tax on 2 cars, I race another in my spare time and am an IaM member. I love cars, just not the pr1cks who drive them.

 

[Ste T.]

Moron"You dont pay any bleedin road tax!"
Me " Yeh I know....it's great is'nt it?" accompanied by a big beaming smile.
or,
as they slowly pass with the window down
Moron" You've got to use the cycle path,it's the law"
Me "Eh?"
Moron "YOU'VE GOT TO USE THE PATH...ITS THE LAW!!!"
Me "I can't hear you mate. What you saying?"
Moron " Oh f**k off"
Me , " Bye" with a big smile and a wave as he drives off, steam coming from his ears.
or,
My latest one, copied from my daughter. Raise your palm "Talk to the hand cos the face aint lissenin" accompanied ,as ever, with a beaming smile.

 

[Vikeonabike]

Driver " You shouldn't be on the road you don't pay road Tax!"
Cyclist "I don't pay for fuel either"

 

[downfader]

Said to me just the other week:

"Why aint you FAT!!?? You sit there eating chocolate and cake and you AINT FAT!!!!?"

"I work for it. Get off your fat a*** and you can eat cake too."

 

[zoxed]

no, I think it's a twist on a remark made by George Bernard Shaw? to a Lady Something or other. When she said "Mr Shaw, you're drunk!" , he replied, "yes, madam, and you are stupid, but I will be sober in the morning..." or something like that...

> [to Lady Astor] I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill


(at another meeting)
> Lady Astor: If you were my husband Winston, I should poison your soup.
> Winston Churchill: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

 

[BentMikey]

I wonder if Eddo Brandes retort isn't better and still more of a put-down:

McGrath "Why are you such a fat c@nt"
Brandes "Because every time I shag your wife she gives me a biscuit"

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

moton: oi fat b*****d ride faster

rebuttal: course i'm fat....it's all the after sex biscuits your missus gives me

 

[hackbike 666]

Driver " You shouldn't be on the road you don't pay road Tax!"
Cyclist "I don't pay for fuel either"

heh!

 

[benb]

no, I think it's a twist on a remark made by George Bernard Shaw? to a Lady Something or other. When she said "Mr Shaw, you're drunk!" , he replied, "yes, madam, and you are stupid, but I will be sober in the morning..." or something like that...

Ugly and slimmer aren't connected, it's just that if one is fat, one can do something about it, whereas if one is the sort of person who shouts random nonsense at people, one is probably doomed for good...

I'd rather call someone in the situation thick, I think, than ugly, as i'm not sure I've got much to crow about in the looks department, but I do know I'm fairly bright...

> [to Lady Astor] I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Winston Churchill


(at another meeting)
> Lady Astor: If you were my husband Winston, I should poison your soup.
> Winston Churchill: And if you were my wife, I'd drink it.[/QUOTE]

The Bernard Shaw one is:

Lady something: "Mr Shaw, you and I should make love. With your brains and my looks, we would have the prefect children"
Shaw: "But what if the child was born with my looks and your brains?"

He was later heard to comment "I can't believe I just blew out a definite shag for the sake of a witty epigram!"

 

[spen666]

I'd take the opposite view - I'll praise those who did bother to pull over when taking a call. Sure, you're right technically, but I think it's minor compared with the idiocy of driving whilst still on the phone.

Alternatively, they could drive legally and not answer the call when driving. Then find a safe and legal place to stop and return the call.

I'll not priase them for breaking the law.

to praise them for breaking one law and not breaking another is a bit like praising a gunman for shooting one person and then not shooting a second

 

[spen666]

The Bernard Shaw one is:

Lady something: "Mr Shaw, you and I should make love. With your brains and my looks, we would have the prefect children"
Shaw: "But what if the child was born with my looks and your brains?"

He was later heard to comment "I can't believe I just blew out a definite shag for the sake of a witty epigram!"

Thought these were Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock

 

[PBancroft]

Thought these were Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock

Are you sure you're not thinking of the following exchange:-

Braddock: "Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk."
Churchill: "Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."

 

[dondare]

"Bikes are for kids. Grown-ups drive cars."

"When my legs stop working I'll get a car; and when my cock stops working I'll get a car just like yours."