@rvw Happy birthday! I wholly approve of your choice of item to treat yourself.
Before I clicked on either of the bikes in your post, the first two bikes that popped into my head were Specialized Ruby and Enigma Elle. So
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Fit of course is the crucial thing. My Enigma is the Etape (the touring model) so of course the Elle will be speedier, but I can 100% recommend Enigma's fitting process, personalised frame design and attention to detail, as well as the superb build quality and finish.
I am 5'4", short body, long legs (my inseam is exactly half my height). I have also ridden various models of Dolces and Rubys over the years and really liked them. Someone up thread mentioned his wife preferred the Trek Silque. I haven't tried the Silque but have test ridden the Domane and Madone - while the fit was fine (with a shorter stem fitted), the road feel was truly horrible - totally different from the feel of Specialized's carbon. (
@ianrauk told me this conclusion is not uncommon!). After all the carbon riding and testing, though, I decided I really do prefer metal over plastic!
I really recommend going custom because you can ensure the fit is spot on first and foremost and then focus on the build details you want (i.e. comfortable, easy to use brake levers, gear range, luggage capacity etc). If you go with a stock bike, you may have options to swap out components, but chances are you will either find a bike that fits really well but won't take mudguards or won't take discs*, or you'll find a bike that has the components and versatility you want but not quite the right fit. If you're lucky, then (as with your Dolce), you can get the fit "good enough" but it may still take time, money and experimentation to get there, as the solution won't be exactly the same as what has worked with your Dolce. A custom frame on the other hand gives you the correct foundation to then build up with maximum versatility/choice of components.
If you're interested in Engima, do give them a call and book a visit. They'll make sure a suitable bike is available for you to take out for a good test ride. Drop a lot of names if you like -- they know a lot of us Fridays peeps! Myself, Michael A, Ross C, Ian who are all customers, as well as knowing quite a few through other connections. I recommend going to them direct, not through a bike shop unless you have an excellent relationship with your LBS and really trust them (and they're already established Enigma dealers).
* re disc brakes.
@jefmcg makes a good point, although I wouldn't worry that rim brakes are going to disappear. I will say from experience that, fully loaded and facing a 20% descent, I would not want anything other than disc brakes! But for lightly loaded day rides, credit card touring and FNRttCs, I really think the Enigma Elle would suit you just fine.
Enjoy the shopping and Good Luck!
ETA: If you're looking for a bicycle with a "lifetime" frame, then scratch carbon off your list straightaway. Re steel versus ti, my conclusion is that fit trumps all. Other than that, it's down to budget and aesthetic preferences. If I were to get another custom frame, I'd go back to Enigma for a steel one. Not because I regret getting ti for one second but because my conclusion is that fit is more crucial to comfort than frame material and -- certainly if it fit me better -- my 1970s steel road bike would give my Enigma a good run for its money as my ride of choice most days.
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