Odd factoids

[roubaixtuesday]

Scotsmen are actually from Uruguay, specifically the port of Fray Bentos.

They were exported preserved in tins for the voyage to Scotland, hence the phrase "Canny Scotsman".

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Keanu Reeves is Sandra Bullock in drag. In the case of Speed, she did this to pocket 2 fees.

Sandra Bullock is not to be confused with Sandra Bullshit. The latter being the queen of France, and the first woman to land on Mars.

 

[Drago]

Mars is made from nougat, gooey caramet, and chocolate. The p,anet Mars has been reduced is size, but the asking price has remaines the same. Astronomers claim this is part of the fight against obesity, but we all know its a money making wheeze.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Most people fail to appreciate that the planet Mars is only 8 feet off the ground. It's just very very small indeed. This is lucky, because astronomers spend years looking for Mars after a small boy twigged and borrowed a pair of stepladders and stole it in 1957.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Scotsmen are actually from Uruguay, specifically the port of Fray Bentos.

They were exported preserved in tins for the voyage to Scotland, hence the phrase "Canny Scotsman".

I understand that due to some cultural confusion the Scots received some of the load in canned Bullshitters. The Scots enjoyed the contents so much that they re-named it in an act of cultural appropriation. And so haggis was born.

 

[Drago]

The Scots are named after the original inhabitants of the land, the scottie dogs.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Scottie dogs are waterproof.

They are rendered down to make Scotchguard.

 

[Drago]

Scotchguard is made from Scotch Whisky.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

Scotchguard is made from Scotch Whisky.

No, scottie dogs!

 

[Drago]

Ah, my error. According to Wikipedia, the Scottie dogs are force fed ice lollies made from Scotch whisky, and they are then slaughtered to make Scotchguard and McDonalds burgers.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Kent lorry drivers parked on the M20 have just been awarded the Guinness World record for simultaneous farting. 726 actually blew the bloody doors off, too, and thereby achieved dual honours with bar in Michael Caine.
The Road Hauliers Association has expressed its pride in the best of British. Coincidentally, shares in Samworths, owners of Ginsters have rocketed over the last few days.

 

[roubaixtuesday]

The lorries are parked on Manston airfield, the childhood home of Charles Manston: serial killer, psychopath and inventor of everyone's favourite sandwich condiment, Manston Pickle.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

Tsk. Cereal killer, so-named after he beat that horse to death armed only with a 12-pack of Weetabix.

 

[Drago]

Weetabix takes its name from one of the ingredients in the original recipe. Wee wee.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Weetabix is actually derived from Wee ta bix , which is French for yes to biscuits.