Oft-heard cycling phrases that get on your nerves

[youngoldbloke]

Oh No! Not a 'front' or 'back' conundrum.

 

[Dan B]

I think DS and NDS is BS and pompous.

So Left and Right is NBS?

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

That depends whether it's going in a clockwise or anti clockwise direction

If you stand on one side of the treadmill it will go clockwise and on the other it will go anticlockwise. The duck won't though.

 

[Dogtrousers]

On the Tour Down Under of course, the drive and non drive side are swapped due the coriolis effect.

 

[Oldbloke]

If you stand on one side of the treadmill it will go clockwise and on the other it will go anticlockwise. The duck won't though.

Only if it runs so fast it creates a rotor effect and spins with the wheel

 

[screenman]

I have left and right on some socks, fine until I rest my right leg on my left leg, then confusion sets in.

 

[Kestevan]

If you stand on one side of the treadmill it will go clockwise and on the other it will go anticlockwise. The duck won't though.

It's a little known fact that most ducks can only tell the time when looking at a digital display.....they have no natural concept of clockwise/widershins.

 

[Dan B]

I have left and right on some socks, fine until I rest my right leg on my left leg, then confusion sets in.

That's interesting, I often have a small child on one of mine, which is kind of endearing but can also be extremely uncomfortable after a while.

 

[Chris S]

Road Tax

 

[Bodhbh]

Bit late for the thread, but the smug "Works for me" drives me up the wall. Also - not that common, but I've heard it at least twice - "utterly dependable". Used to describle touring bikes.

 

[Alex H]

Bit late for the thread, but the smug "Works for me" drives me up the wall. Also - not that common, but I've heard it at least twice - "utterly dependable". Used to describle touring bikes.

I agree with the first one - the French have the similarly annoying "Ça marche"

 

[Racing roadkill]

"Kick the tyres and light the fires", when talking about moving on from a rest / break. I usually reply with "if you kick my tyres, I'll kick your arse".

 

[wheres_my_beard]

I have heard too many people comment "cor, that bike looks fast" about my fixed wheel bike. Well, it is if my legs are, is my usual response, with no suggestion of humour.

 

[BrumJim]

If I put my watch above my head facing upwards the hands move anti-clockwise. Luckily, to prevent confusion, we can't actually see this happening. Strangely, though, the time still passes in the normal direction. You can also look at your watch in a mirror and it goes the wrong way round again. Mirrors, I suspect, are the enemy of clockwise.

When we talk about Einstein's theory of relativity, the illustration is you moving away from a clock at the speed of light, hence time is stationary for you, but the clock is still ticking. Hence if you hold a watch above your head facing upwards, then surely time goes backwards?

Time travel sorted!

 

[Sore Thumb]

I don't know if this had been posted yet as I have no read through the 22 pages, so sorry if it has.

View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCkuqL9IcM


S*** cyclists say

I thought it was funny.