Northerners, recreate living in London by having a wash, getting a job, buying decent things and having a great life.
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- Thread starter The Essex Spurs
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User6179
Guest
Save on toilet paper by simply wiping your bum outside on the grass in the style of a dog with an itchy arse .
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Save money on a TV licence by using binoculars to watch your neighbours tv and learning to lip read.
MontyVeda
a short-tempered ill-controlled small-minded troll
- Location
- Lancaster... the little city.
Enjoy freshly laid Scotch Eggs every morning by simply feeding your pet hen a diet of ham sandwiches.
slowmotion
Quite dreadful
- Location
- lost somewhere
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Don't waste money on expensive postage stamps when sending letters. Drive your car to Thurso and deliver the letter by hand, thus saving 65p.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Fed up with the police taking forever to attend when you've been burgled?
Fear not!
Book a sexy WPC strip-o-gram instead. They'll arrive quicker, drink less of your tea, and have more chance of catching the villains.
Fear not!
Book a sexy WPC strip-o-gram instead. They'll arrive quicker, drink less of your tea, and have more chance of catching the villains.
Oldbloke
Guru
- Location
- Mayenne, France
Walk up your stairs backwards so if you suddenly realise you need to go back down you'll be facing the right way.
William Mychreest
William Mychreest
Beebo
Firm and Fruity
- Location
- Hexleybeef
Prompted by BBC4 tonight and apologies if I haven't got the wording right of the original in Viz:
Wake up, singer songwriters. When Ralph McTell sang of "yesterday's paper telling yesterday's news", yesterday's paper would in fact have had the news from the day before yesterday.
Wake up, singer songwriters. When Ralph McTell sang of "yesterday's paper telling yesterday's news", yesterday's paper would in fact have had the news from the day before yesterday.
- Location
- Inside my skull
Motorists pretend you're driving in town by sitting in your car with the engine running and occasionally beeping your horn whilst going nowhere.
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Paramedics. Earn money on the side by selling ice cream.
Oldbloke
Guru
- Location
- Mayenne, France
Convince friends and neighbours that you're a character from EastEnders by shaving your head and shouting at everyone a lot in an affected cockney accent. Turning up in your neighbourhood a few years after your funeral will also help with the ruse.
Hampton Turner
Hampton Turner
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Extract maximum value from toilet roll by using both sides.
