The one time in your life when you find the right retort...

[alicat]

Today was the first time in my life when I found the right retort and in French too so I am feeling quite chipper.

This morning I was on Eurostar and an Anglo-French family were sitting in the surrounding seats. The older teenager (lad about 16) lowered the armrest. I asked him politely in English if he minded having it raised since I always find it uncomfortable. Yes he did mind and no he wouldn't raise it. There's nowt so queer as folk or c'est la vie, I thought to myself.

Then he remarked to his dad in French 'Ce voyage va etre sh*ant' or in other words 'This is going to be a sh*tty journey.'

Without missing a beat I replied in French 'Tout a fait' (Yes, it will).

The dad never said a word. If it had been me, I would have grounded the worm for the first day of his holiday at Eurodisney.

So, when have you found just the right retort?

 

[Yellow Saddle]

I formulate great retorts a few days after the event. Each one a cracker.

 

[Drago]

A quick rap in the plums is the kind of retort he'd have understood

 

[robjh]

A quick rap in the plums is the kind of retort he'd have understood

In the prunes if you please, he was speaking French.

 

[jefmcg]

There's nowt so queer as folk or c'est la vie, I thought to myself.

I'm confused. I do not like the armrests up if a stranger is sitting beside me. I thought that was normal. No one has ever tried to raise it. I'd have said no, too (though probably skipped the bitchy aside).

Does that make me a weirdo?

 

[dodgy]

We get it, you speak French.

 

[ColinJ]

We get it, you speak French.

Is that your retort, or just a point?

(That wasn't my retort; it was just a question! )

 

[Markymark]

I just challenge them to a dance off. Never lost one yet.

 

[Threevok]

Standing at the roadside, waiting to cross a busy road in Cardiff - a stranger comes up to me and says "Oi Butt !!! There's a zebra crossing down by there" to which I replied "Well I hope he's having better luck than I am"

 

[Yellow Saddle]

We get it, you speak French.

No need for that.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

It's the fat barstewards who take their seat and half of mine I find difficult. Just gotta keep the arm rest down then even if they spill over it (more than) a bit.

 

[slowmotion]

On our honeymoon in Corsica, I would go to the local bank to cash travellers' cheques. The lady on the foreign exchange counter was not of a sunny disposition. She would feed the travellers' cheques into something like a fax machine that would check them for fraud. It took forever. One day, I arrived just before closing time and the cashier was not amused. As the machine was doing its thing, she started sighing, looking at her watch, and scowling at me.

"Est la machine electronique ou a vapeur?", I asked. She lost her rag, but I got a snigger from the cashier next door.

 

[MrPie]

I just challenge them to a dance off. Never lost one yet.

Whilst calling them a turd blossom, natch

 

[gavroche]

We get it, you speak French.

He may speak French but he doesn't spell it properly. It should spell " chiant".

 

[alicat]

He may speak French but he doesn't spell it properly. It should spell " chiant".

Touché, although to the best of my knowledge I have always been a 'she'.