Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Lullabelle]

You say your daughter is 'naturally big', well in the few short hours she was here with you she ate more than I did in the 9 hours I was here. A child of that age should not puff and wheeze nor have to make an effort to get out of a chair!

 

[Vantage]

The pair of you jumped not one, but TWO sets of clearly red lights. Lights which I managed to stop at.
Then there's the issue of your bell. For feck sake tone it down a little. People walking toward us and who've clearly seen us do not need five seconds of you constantly ringing the blasted thing to be aware of your presence.
THAT's why I was a little 'off' in the cafe today.

 

[ColinJ]

To the owner of the Staffordshire Bull Terrier that tried to eat my sister's lovely Border Terrier a few days ago ...

"He's a friendly, well-behaved dog and he hasn't done this before ..." sounds a lot more convincing when your statement is not immediately followed by the qualifier "... except to 2 or 3 local dogs that he doesn't like for some reason"!

Put a muzzle on your devil dog when he is out on his walks and keep him on his lead!

(My sister's dog had the claws bitten off one of his front paws and was being shaken about by the scruff of his neck before the Staffie was pulled off him. It's bloody lucky that it was the back of his neck rather than his throat or he'd probably have been killed. At least the other dog owner had the decency to be upset about it and paid the vet's bill.)

 

[kynikos]

Soon as I catch you, I'm going to ram the dog crap that your mutt regularly leaves outside my house down your f*****g throat!

A couple of people I knew would pick it up and smear it all over the miscreants' front door.

Keith White, a guy I knew when growing up in the 60s, scooped the mutt mess up on a shovel, knocked on the door of the miscreant and, when the door was opened, pushed said shovel into the house and turned it over, depositing the mess all over the floor whilst cheerfully saying "I think this is yours, mate."

Keith was a miner and a big bloke...

 

[wheresthetorch]

Keith was a miner and a big bloke...

He sounds delightful.

 

[ColinJ]

It is very sad, but I think it is time for you or some other close family member to tell your dad/granddad/uncle/(insert family relationship here) that it is time for him to stop driving before he causes a very serious accident! Yes, he will lose his independence, but at least nobody need lose a leg or even a life ...

Like THIS ...?

 

[Arjimlad]

I wish I could explain how very annoying it is that when I am down to 50% lung capacity, coughing my guts up and can barely utter a sentence, having each family member say "What??" every time I try to say something, rather than bothering to listen carefully, or letting what I have said sink in, is making me very unhappy.

And clearing my throat is not a grumpy noise but a necessity if I am to carry on breathing.

Usually the "What??" comes out as a reflex response and the listener then realises that they have understood me perfectly well the first time.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

If there's a sign saying you should put the paper in the bin when you've had a shoot, and you've just put the paper in the loo, don't just walk away and leave your excrement for someone else to sort out. And while you're at it dry yourself if you've come straight from the pool, then the toilet doesn't look flooded.

Why you paid money to come and show these lovely people how disgusting tourists can be is beyond me.

 

[Lullabelle]

Last night you sat in front of your tv and watched the football, this morning you walked in and talked endlessly about the game, no one knows more about football than you do not even the managers apparently.

Last night we went to a gig and along with a couple of hundred other people and sang our socks off.

Our lives are so different.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Last night you sat in front of your tv and watched the football, this morning you walked in and talked endlessly about the game, no one knows more about football than you do not even the managers apparently.

Last night we went to a gig and along with a couple of hundred other people and sang our socks off.

Our lives are so different.

Yeah, but he still has his socks...

I remember this well at school, where I was repeatedly told I was a 'nerd' by people who could bore for Britain about football trivia, simply because I read a book about railways.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Yeah, but he still has his socks...

I remember this well at school, where I was repeatedly told I was a 'nerd' by people who could bore for Britain about football trivia, simply because I read a book about railways.

Same when I was a kid. If you didn't declare every five minutes your love of football you were an outsider in all things. Probably explains why I have no interest in it at all now.

 

[perplexed]

Same when I was a kid. If you didn't declare every five minutes your love of football you were an outsider in all things. Probably explains why I have no interest in it at all now.

Plus, they probably applied the 'poof' appellation to you. Added spice in Sheffield was that not only did one have to love football, it was the flavour of the team which mattered too. They'd often narrow their eyes and say 'Wednesday or United'... I've nothing against the sport (I'm abstracting the obscene money and playacting/cheating), I'm just not particularly bothered about it...

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Plus, they probably applied the 'poof' appellation to you. Added spice in Sheffield was that not only did one have to love football, it was the flavour of the team which mattered too. They'd often narrow their eyes and say 'Wednesday or United'... I've nothing against the sport (I'm abstracting the obscene money and playacting/cheating), I'm just not particularly bothered about it...

Same situation a few miles away in Swinton. The 'in-crowd' supported Barnsley and could name all the links golf courses (whatever they are) on the planet and always had pot dog sandwiches. Anyone else was some sort of sexual deviant not worthy of attention or being picked for a team in PE lessons.

 

[Lee_M]

Same situation a few miles away in Swinton. The 'in-crowd' supported Barnsley and could name all the links golf courses (whatever they are) on the planet and always had pot dog sandwiches. Anyone else was some sort of sexual deviant not worthy of attention or being picked for a team in PE lessons.

and same in Wath!

Never bothered about the game, and consequently was an outcast

 

[Lullabelle]

Yeah, but he still has his socks...

I remember this well at school, where I was repeatedly told I was a 'nerd' by people who could bore for Britain about football trivia, simply because I read a book about railways.

He isn't a nerd, he is an arrogant condescending bore who thinks he is better than everyone else.