True Facts About Escarpment Richard, formerly known as Cliff.

[Ming the Merciless]

His video collection has been unearthed

 

[Drago]

Escarpment Richard originally applied to play Forest Gump in the rollerskating stage musical version of the fillum. However, director Guy Ritchie felt he would dumb the part down too much.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard is due to appear in the next round of Trivago ads, which will be featuring a double decker bus being pursued by a BBC helicopter.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Dicky as he is known, has a week’s worth of dentist appointments to get his teeth ready for Trivago. Anneka Rice will be in the helicopter. Her teeth need no work for the advert.

 

[Drago]

Essarpment Richard was due to play the part of the Predetor, but in rehearsals Schwarzenegger complained that an alien on roller skates humming Wired For Sound didn't appear very scary.

Escarpment refused to leave, so Schwarzenegger substituted real ammo for the famous scene where Old Painless flattens the jungle. Indeed, the green alien blood is actually that of Escarpment, who retired from the set in favour of Dale Winton.

 

[Drago]

Escarpment Richard was considered to play Darth Vader. However, Escarpment was in his manly prime and was too,deep voiced and muscular to play the part. In the end the shorter and more lightly built David Prowse got the part, with a voice provided by the higher pitched James Earl Jones.

 

[DRM]

Inspired by american rapper/Actor 50 Cent, Escarpment Richard is set to reignite his career as a Rapper/Actor, 10 Bob Richard, with a rap remake of Summer Holiday, where 10 Bob Richard & his homies, travel Europe in a double decker bus for a crib, commiting gang crime along the way

 

[Webbo2]

Inspired by american rapper/Actor 50 Cent, Escarpment Richard is set to reignite his career as a Rapper/Actor, 10 Bob Richard, with a rap remake of Summer Holiday, where 10 Bob Richard & his homies, travel Europe in a double decker bus for a crib, commiting gang crime along the way

I must take issue with this as how would one get a double decker bus across the channel these days. Unless you laid it on it’s side but it would create such a stir everyone would be looking out for Escarpment Cliff.
Unless Escarpment Cliff had invented the double decker submarine 😱😱😱😱😱😱🍺

 

[Drago]

Essarpment Richard has converted to Scientology.

To commemorate this momentous event he is to release Misletoe and Wine with new lyrics as Lizard Aliens and Flagons of Virgins Blood,

 

[DRM]

I must take issue with this as how would one get a double decker bus across the channel these days. Unless you laid it on it’s side but it would create such a stir everyone would be looking out for Escarpment Cliff.
Unless Escarpment Cliff had invented the double decker submarine 😱😱😱😱😱😱🍺

Don't you know, "10 Bob" Richard has use of a WW2 era LST boat, he just rocks up anywhere suitable to land his Double Decker Crib

 

[Drago]

The CR2032 battery is named after its inventor, the then named Cliff Richard. It was his 2032nd patent.

 

[Drago]

The nation has honoured Escarpment Richard by adding his initials ER to the majority of the country's post boxes.

The II in the middle signifies he is the second person with those initials to be promoted to royalty, thr first being Esther Rantzen.

 

[Dogtrousers]

The CR2032 battery is named after its inventor, the then named Cliff Richard. It was his 2032nd patent.

There was fierce rivalry between him and fellow battery inventor Christopher Reeve, who invented the CR1220 battery.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Sylvester Stallone who invented the D cell was jailed for a couple of years for crimes against bike lights.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

After an affair with Princess Diana. He wrote the song “Daddy’s Home”