True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Ming the Merciless]

It isn't very well known, but Ross Kemp's first ever job was as a traffic bollard in Dagenham.

In fact, he'd probably still be there now, if Barbara Windsor hadn't spotted him from the back of her Limo.

I thought he was a Belisha beacon?

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is the only person known to catch the Loch Ness monster while fishing and to throw it back.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp bent Uri Geller

 

[Drago]

Lord Lucan's disappearance after insulting Barbara Windsor is no coincidence. To this day Ross Kemp doesn't like "that ponce's name" mentioned in his presence.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Don’t ever ask Ross Kemp for a fiver

 

[Badger_Boom]

Ross Kemp once got trapped inside a king-sized duvet cover while changing his bedding and had to be rescued by Bob Hoskins.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp refers to Bob Hoskins as "Mini-Me", but never within earshot of Hoskins himself.

 

[Moon bunny]

Ross Kemp has a mauve belt in Ikebana.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp played a Japanese kamjkazi pilot in the Quentin Tarrantino version of Midway. If one listens closely they can hear him shout..."Bonsai! Death to the ponces!"

Tarrantino knew of this but was too frightened to cut it from the film.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp played a Japanese kamjkazi pilot in the Quentin Tarrantino version of Midway. If one listens closely they can hear him shout..."Bonsai! Death to the ponces!"

Tarrantino knew of this but was too frightened to cut it from the film.

Further to this, Ross Kemp really DID crash into the ship.

What frightened Tarrantino the most though, was witnessing Mr Kemp's remains slowly moving together and re - forming, Terminator style.

 

[Drago]

Tarrantino originally wanted Kemp to play Admiral Yamamoto but he refused to remove his leather jacket andnthe wardrobe crew couldn't make it look like a naval uniform.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Barbara Windsor had Ross Kemp murdered.

However Ross Kemp never let a little thing like being dead bother him, he just laughed it off.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

In 2011 Ross Kemp did a belly flop off an oil tanker in the Pacific leading to a devastating tsunami.

 

[accountantpete]

Our local Home Bargains has a full sized cut-out of Ross Kemp in the front window to deter shoplifters.

 

[Drago]

A special breed of cows has been developed to provide leather for Ross Kemps jackets.

The hides go to make jackets for the Eadt End hard man, and the meat is used to feed the Richardson's Rotweillers.