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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp thinks hes special for having one more ball than Hitler.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz60ezlg905o
Police in Worcestershire are looking for a person, or persons unknown who has been painting red crosses on mini roundabouts, turning them into St Georges Flags, however they have got the wrong end of the stick, as Ross Kemp has got himself a Jet Pack & has been travelling in Worcestershire on holiday, it seems this "Art" is simply Ross Kemp landing pads!
Police in Worcestershire are looking for a person, or persons unknown who has been painting red crosses on mini roundabouts, turning them into St Georges Flags, however they have got the wrong end of the stick, as Ross Kemp has got himself a Jet Pack & has been travelling in Worcestershire on holiday, it seems this "Art" is simply Ross Kemp landing pads!
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OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
When appearing in panto Ross Kemp poses as an asylum seeker in order to get free accommodation in whatever town he is appearing.
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OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
In a curious twist of fate, Bethnal Green council have served Ross Kemp with an injucntion preventing him from punching anyone. It seems the original planning permission only covered his fists for use as a summer house.
- Location
- Inside my skull
In breaking news Ross has been hit by a ton of bricks falling off a lorry. The bricks are now dust and currently being swept up by accident investigators. Ross has told them he’ll be down his local, Punch and Judy
accountantpete
OAP
Ross Kemp has a Black Belt (with Hells Angels buckle) in karate.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
In the fortnight when Ross Kemp let himself go, he got so fat that he identified as 'Trans Slender', so he made a flag and started a whole movement and everything!
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Indeed. In his previous lean and musclebound state Ross Kemp was trans-fat.
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp, aside from being the hardest and most naturally musclebound man in the world, is also the world's series man.
On an unrelated note it has been announced that Ross Kemp's Good Morning interview with Ranvir Singh can only be shown after the 9pm watershed.
On an unrelated note it has been announced that Ross Kemp's Good Morning interview with Ranvir Singh can only be shown after the 9pm watershed.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
It isn't very well known, but Ross Kemp's first ever job was as a traffic bollard in Dagenham.
In fact, he'd probably still be there now, if Barbara Windsor hadn't spotted him from the back of her Limo.
In fact, he'd probably still be there now, if Barbara Windsor hadn't spotted him from the back of her Limo.
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DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp decided to go on a hiking holiday a few years back in Washington State, as it was very cold he was wearing a fur coat, it was so cold that a family of Sasquatch mistook him for a cousin & let him stay with them, as they got along so well they decided to let Ross Kemp stay every year, & they exchange gifts & cards at Xmas !
- Location
- Inside my skull
I thought he was a Belisha beacon?
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp is the only person known to catch the Loch Ness monster while fishing and to throw it back.
accountantpete
OAP
Ross Kemp bent Uri Geller
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Lord Lucan's disappearance after insulting Barbara Windsor is no coincidence. To this day Ross Kemp doesn't like "that ponce's name" mentioned in his presence.
