True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Moon bunny]

He's amphibious too...

Anyway, Ross Kemp wrote the international bestseller...

'The Taxidermy Of Children'.

... He's helped many a struggling patent/guardian over the years!

I can’t find it on Amazon, nor Abe books.

 

[Drago]

The London planetarium was made from a mould taken of Ross Kemps head.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross is so tough that when he gives blood, they have to use a pile - driver just to get the canula in

 

[Drago]

Its true to aay that Ross Kemp has become a little bit overweight of late.

This was picked up by his GP, who noticed on a recent test that Kemp's blood type is Ragu+.

 

[accountantpete]

Donald Trump has replaced the bust of Winston Churchill in the Oval Office with a more tasteful one of Ross Kemp giving the bird

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp is Chris Rea's biggest fan.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Au contraire! He has a large Lepidopterarium, where he keeps 3000 different species, including a breeding colony of Atlas moths, along with many other large Asian species, being in the enclosure with them at dusk, with his prized Luna moths flying, is simply magical.

Sorry, that was a typo. I meant months. Ross Kemp is afraid of months. He always dreads the end of one month and the start of the next, and always gets March and May confused.

He loves moths, obviously.

 

[accountantpete]

The French Foreign Legion once ran away and joined Ross Kemp.

 

[Drago]

When police officers approach Ross Kemp they say "we have the right to remain silent"

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is the only person to win a BAFTA for feigning injury during a football match.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp has signed a deal to have his face printed onto eggs, the idea being that the water is so scared , it stops boiling at the exact time to cook a perfect boiled egg, he has also signed a deal with UK bakeries to make packets of soldiers to go with the eggs under the brand name "Kemps"

 

[stephec]

There's a special production line in the Revells factory that makes bags without any coffee or nut ones in them just for one certain person.

 

[stephec]

Ross Kemp's hard man image all stems from the day he spilt Christopher Biggins' pint in the BBC bar.

Knowing that Biggins was rumoured to have once sparked out John Prescot for, 'looking at my Jag,' Kemp realised that it was kill or be killed, and a legend was born.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp once stared at the sun so long, that it blinked.

He always books a table at McDonalds and then turns up 30 minutes early 'just in case'.

He drives a Yugo and waits at a red light at 3am, even when there is no traffic about.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp thinks that Italians are poofs and refuses to even use Italian names for things.

Unfortunately, he's also prone to bouts of whimsey, so he calls a Pizza, a 'Yum Disc'.