True Facts About Ross Kemp

[accountantpete]

Having been jilted by Ross Kemp, Taylor Swift rebounded into the arms of the spindly framed Travis Kelce

 

[Dogtrousers]

The bloke who played Phil Mitchell says that just being around Ross Kemp has made him radioactive.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The bloke who played Phil Mitchell says that just being around Ross Kemp has made him radioactive.

Phil Mitchel is bald due to him.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The bloke who played Phil Mitchell says that just being around Ross Kemp has made him radioactive.

He has also sent Phil over the edge and he now talks to Chickens:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19nQ2cE84X/?mibextid=wwXIfr

 

[Drago]

The Green Party have banned Ross Kemp for life for not rinsing his soup tins before putting them in the recycling. This upset Kemp greatly as he really enjoyed the private jet they loaned him.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The Green Party have banned Ross Kemp for life for not rinsing his soup tins before putting them in the recycling. This upset Kemp greatly as he really enjoyed the private jet they loaned him.

Ross Kemp was merely being polite about the jet, as he has the combined power of 50 billion fleas (in human size proportion I mean) and can jump from continent to continent.

He even jumped up to say hello to Felix Baumgartner that time...

 

[Drago]

Its not widely reported in the news, but following Felix Baumgartner's record breaking stunt our man Ross Kemp set out the break themrecord the very next day by jumping from the ISS wearing nothing but Speedos. The incident was covered up to prevent copycat daredevils having a go.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp drinks tea from a pint glass.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp drinks tea from a pint glass.

And he eats the teabag afterwards.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp is second only to Paddington Bear when it comes to giving hard stares.

 

[accountantpete]

Colonel Trautman's lines in Rambo were lifted almost directly from Ross Kemp's Wikipedia entry

"A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Surbiton his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition."

 

[DRM]

As mentioned up thread, Ross Kemps stand in work at the engineering works also involved his hard stares, depending on the intensity, he can be both a MIG Welder & Plasma Cutter

 

[stephec]

The inventor of the crash test dummy had the idea after seeing Ross Kemp walk away from a ten car pile up without a scratch.

'Bleeding fairies the lot of you's,' he was heard to scowl at the mangled wrecks.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp never blinks as he fears his enemies might attack in the microseconds his eyes would be covered.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp flew 26 successful missions as a kamikaze pilot. His chilling cry of, " 'ave it!", sent shivers down the spine of French sailors everywhere.