True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp is second only to Paddington Bear when it comes to giving hard stares.

 

[accountantpete]

Colonel Trautman's lines in Rambo were lifted almost directly from Ross Kemp's Wikipedia entry

"A man who's been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Surbiton his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition."

 

[DRM]

As mentioned up thread, Ross Kemps stand in work at the engineering works also involved his hard stares, depending on the intensity, he can be both a MIG Welder & Plasma Cutter

 

[stephec]

The inventor of the crash test dummy had the idea after seeing Ross Kemp walk away from a ten car pile up without a scratch.

'Bleeding fairies the lot of you's,' he was heard to scowl at the mangled wrecks.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp never blinks as he fears his enemies might attack in the microseconds his eyes would be covered.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp flew 26 successful missions as a kamikaze pilot. His chilling cry of, " 'ave it!", sent shivers down the spine of French sailors everywhere.

 

[Moon bunny]

Ross Kemp’s eyes are so close together he has difficulty judging distances.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp knows the identity of Jack the Ripper but is keeping it quiet so as not to cause further controversy at the BBC.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross kemp frequently wrestles with his own conscience - so far he is ahead by two submissions and a knockout.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is heartbroken at the recent death of his pet alligator, although the new custom made shoes should cheer him up.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp has climbed Everest one handed without oxygen, swum the Channel towing a boat, ran marathons with a 56lb backback in sub 3 hours and now wants to manage Man Utd.

 

[stephec]

Ross Kemp has climbed Everest one handed without oxygen, swum the Channel towing a boat, ran marathons with a 56lb backback in sub 3 hours and now wants to manage Man Utd.

He was doing well until that last one. 😂

 

[stephec]

Remember the old story about Mike Tyson visiting a zoo and asking if he could get into the gorilla enclosure to have a fight with one?

When a keeper pointed out that one of them was Ross Kemp in a fancy dress outfit, but the resemblance was so startling that they didn't know which one, Tyson suddenly lost all his enthusiasm.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp is banned from every fairground across the UK & Europe for irreparably breaking the boxing/punching machines

 

[Drago]

Mike Tyson has named his rottweiler Ross Kemp.