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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp is the only person to win a BAFTA for feigning injury during a football match.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp has signed a deal to have his face printed onto eggs, the idea being that the water is so scared , it stops boiling at the exact time to cook a perfect boiled egg, he has also signed a deal with UK bakeries to make packets of soldiers to go with the eggs under the brand name "Kemps"
Ross Kemp's hard man image all stems from the day he spilt Christopher Biggins' pint in the BBC bar.
Knowing that Biggins was rumoured to have once sparked out John Prescot for, 'looking at my Jag,' Kemp realised that it was kill or be killed, and a legend was born.
Knowing that Biggins was rumoured to have once sparked out John Prescot for, 'looking at my Jag,' Kemp realised that it was kill or be killed, and a legend was born.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Ross Kemp once stared at the sun so long, that it blinked.
He always books a table at McDonalds and then turns up 30 minutes early 'just in case'.
He drives a Yugo and waits at a red light at 3am, even when there is no traffic about.
He always books a table at McDonalds and then turns up 30 minutes early 'just in case'.
He drives a Yugo and waits at a red light at 3am, even when there is no traffic about.
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Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Ross Kemp thinks that Italians are poofs and refuses to even use Italian names for things.
Unfortunately, he's also prone to bouts of whimsey, so he calls a Pizza, a 'Yum Disc'.
Unfortunately, he's also prone to bouts of whimsey, so he calls a Pizza, a 'Yum Disc'.
accountantpete
OAP
Having been jilted by Ross Kemp, Taylor Swift rebounded into the arms of the spindly framed Travis Kelce
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
The bloke who played Phil Mitchell says that just being around Ross Kemp has made him radioactive.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Phil Mitchel is bald due to him.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
He has also sent Phil over the edge and he now talks to Chickens:
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19nQ2cE84X/?mibextid=wwXIfr
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
The Green Party have banned Ross Kemp for life for not rinsing his soup tins before putting them in the recycling. This upset Kemp greatly as he really enjoyed the private jet they loaned him.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Ross Kemp was merely being polite about the jet, as he has the combined power of 50 billion fleas (in human size proportion I mean) and can jump from continent to continent.
He even jumped up to say hello to Felix Baumgartner that time...
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Its not widely reported in the news, but following Felix Baumgartner's record breaking stunt our man Ross Kemp set out the break themrecord the very next day by jumping from the ISS wearing nothing but Speedos. The incident was covered up to prevent copycat daredevils having a go.
OP
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp drinks tea from a pint glass.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
And he eats the teabag afterwards.
