True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp's pit bull has erected a "beware of the human" sign.

Ross Kemp's dog has to pay 'Danger Money'.

 

[Drago]

When Ross Kemp goes Trick or Treating he demands protection money.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp uses Swarfega as a moisturiser.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp gargles with Nitromors

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp was born with a scowl.

 

[Drago]

In order to deter any potential alien invasion each of the Voyager spacecraft carries a gold plaque bearing an engraving of Ross Kemp.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

As further deterrent there is a recording on the gold disc of Ross singing “My Old Man’s a Dustman”

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Ross Kemp has climbed Everest one handed without oxygen, swum the Channel towing a boat, ran marathons with a 56lb backback in sub 3 hours and now wants to manage Man Utd.

If he was really tough he would challenge himself to get Everton to win the League!!

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp spent a full night punching Russian drones that crossed into Polish airspace last Wednesday, in order to destroy them, Vladimir Putin is now terrified that he will rebuild them, & throw them at the Kremlin

 

[raleighnut]

Ross Kemp is an actor and as such likes being 'spitroasted' by @Drago and his chum.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is an actor and as such likes being 'spitroasted' by @Drago and his chum.

I've got a chum!

 

[stephec]

I've got a chum!

Allegedly, and his initials are RK.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp is singing Great Britain's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest this year 🎶

 

[Drago]

During WW2 Ross Kemp worked as a Winston Churchill double. This foiled several assassination attempts including one by Michael Caine who at the time was working for the nazzies.

It also gave Churchill a reputation for being hard as nails, and calling opposition MPs 'ponce' in the House of Commons,

 

[stephec]

Graham Norton has refused to commentate on this year's Eurovision, his reason, 'I'm not risking some bitchy comments on his performance.'